No Greater Love
by Joe's girl
Summary: Jack and Audrey post season 5. Will they spend a lifetime together? Spoilers up to episode 18.
1. Chapter 1

_I never thought that I'd write a Jack/Audrey story, because until recently I didn't like Audrey all that well. But now that Audrey has started to risk her life and her career for Jack, I've got a new-found appreciation for her. So I'm willing to give this Jack/Audrey thing a try! _

_This takes place the day after day 5. I started writing it before Christopher Henderson's knife made contact with Audrey's brachial artery and doomed her to hours of vascular surgery (that is, assuming that she lives!) at the end of the day. At the end of my day 5, Audrey and Jack are both still in one piece and Audrey's father is, was, and always will be, a good guy who is unfailingly loyal to Jack._

_So here we go. The usual disclaimer applies. I wish I owned the characters but I don't. Hope you enjoy this. If you read, please, please, please review. It's really important to me. (If I sound shallow and without a life, it's because I am. So, take pity on me and review!)_

NO GREATER LOVE

Chapter 1

When she awoke that day, the first thoughts that went through Audrey Raines' mind were of Jack Bauer. That was nothing new. For the last 18 months, the first thoughts through her mind every morning and the last thoughts every night were always of Jack. They varied, of course, but they were always of Jack. Sometimes she thought about how he died. Sometimes she thought about their last conversation. Sometimes she thought about the last time they made love or of how Jack rescued her and her father from the terrorists who were holding them hostage. Sometimes the thoughts were happy ones and sometimes they left Audrey depressed and grieving all over again.

Today, however, was different. For today, as she lay in bed thinking of Jack, she was enveloped snuggly in his warm, strong arms. Their fingers were entwined and their naked bodies were pressed solidly together. Audrey never remembered feeling warmer or safer in her entire life. Finding out that Jack was alive had been an unbelievable shock, but once she got past that, she was grateful to have this chance. She wasn't kidding herself. She knew full well that this could possibly be the last time she would ever awaken in his arms. She knew that when he met with the President later in the day that they were probably going to either turn him over to the Chinese or strip him of his identity and force him to disappear once again. The chances were slim that they would absolve him of staging his death and find a way to square it with the Chinese so that he could go on to live the rest of his life under the name of Jack Bauer.

The whole last 48 hours were surreal for Audrey. As the senior advisor for the Secretary of Defense, she often traveled with the President. That was how she had come to be in LA this week. She was with the President's entourage at the Presidential retreat north of LA when the news came in that David Palmer had been assassinated. CTU was helping Secret Service in its investigation. It was standard practice for DoD to provide a liaison to the investigating organization while such protocols were active. At the moment the call came in, Audrey was the only DoD representative available. She hated the idea of going to CTU, but she didn't have a choice. CTU was filled with nothing but bad memories for Audrey and if she could have avoided going, she would have. At least, she learned, Bill Buchanan was Director at CTU. She liked Bill and knew that he would understand how hard it was for her to walk back into that godforsaken building; that place where Paul and Jack both died. She would never forget collapsing against the wall after learning of Jack's death. She had always been strong, but that second blow had been too much for her. It was Bill who picked her up and led her to a chair. She was shaking like a leaf and crying and Bill, who she barely knew, had been so kind to her.

So Audrey walked into CTU trying hard to keep her emotions at bay. It worked at first. When Bill met her at the door and indicated that he understood how hard this visit to CTU must be for her, she lied and told him that she was fine. She wondered if he bought it. She doubted that he had given her statement much thought with all that was going on. Any pretense that she was simply going to do her job, helping to track David Palmer's assassin, and then leave CTU was thrown out the window when it became obvious that Jack was still alive. Her world changed at that moment and she knew it. She wondered if it would ever be the same. Now lying here in his arms, she knew that it wouldn't, her life could never be the same.

Not in her wildest dreams could she have imagined that the day would play out the way it did. The nerve gas attacks and the revelations that government officials as high up as the president had been complicit were movie plots; they didn't happen in real life. Audrey watched Jack masterfully unravel the whole thing. When the two of them finally walked back into CTU after spending much of the night tracking Christopher Henderson and proving that the president had played a role in the attacks, Audrey realized what it was really like to be part of Jack's world. She understood him and what he did and why he did it. For the first time, she understood Jack Bauer and what made him tick and she knew for sure that she loved him. What she didn't know was what the future would bring.

Bill met the two as they passed through security and into CTU. He was usually so matter-of-fact and serious; his emotions rarely escaped the calm shell that others were allowed to see. But at that moment the shell was cast aside. He hugged Audrey and shook Jack's hand as he thanked them for their service and expressed his happiness that they were both alive and unhurt. He told them that they would be debriefed after they had been checked out in medical and had a few minutes to eat some breakfast and decompress.

The debriefing went as expected. Bill debriefed Jack in his office while Curtis debriefed Audrey in his. Audrey finished first and Bill allowed her to sit in while he finished up with Jack. The debriefing complete, Jack and Audrey looked expectantly at Bill both wondering what would come next.

Bill stood and walked away from his desk for a moment to look down into the bullpen. "Obviously, Jack, this isn't over for you."

"I realize that Bill. What happens next?"

"That's up to President Gardner and his advisors," Bill stated simply. Charles Logan had quietly been relieved of his duties during the night and Gardner sworn in as Chief Executive.

"Bill, after all Jack did today, surely the President won't hold against him what happened 18 months ago," Audrey said incredulously.

"Audrey, I'd like to believe that will be the case, but I don't know that. I'm sure your father will get a chance to give an opinion. There's still the matter of the raid on the Chinese embassy a year-and-a-half ago. Gardner is meeting with advisors today. He plans to render a decision some time tomorrow. Right now, I've been ordered to take you into custody, Jack."

Jack looked at Bill and then down at the floor. He knew this was coming; it wasn't a surprise, but it still saddened him. He had hoped that his performance today would wipe away the last 18 months. "I understand, Bill." Jack stood, ready to move to a holding cell.

"I'm sorry, Jack," Bill said sincerely. "I wish I didn't have to do this."

Audrey felt tears fill her eyes and begin their descent along her cheeks. She knew that Bill had no choice, but she was angry with him anyway. She was just about to lash out at him when he reached into his pocket and took out a key card. He handed the card to Jack.

"What's this?" Jack asked as he turned the card over to look at both sides.

"It's a key to suite 1631 at the Hilton downtown," Bill said barely suppressing a smile.

"What?"

"I was ordered to keep you in custody, but no one specified where. I thought you might be more comfortable at the Hilton than in one of our holding cells."

"Are you kidding me?" Jack asked.

"No, I'll have someone drive you there and I'll keep guards posted at the door. You'll be as secure there as you are here. I'll get in touch with you as soon as I know anything. I expect Gardner to want to meet with you late tomorrow afternoon."

Bill didn't have to state the obvious for Jack. He was going way out on a limb here and if Jack made any attempt to escape, Bill would be in serious trouble. Jack would never repay Bill's kindness or jeopardize his career that way.

"Thank you," Jack whispered.

"You're welcome," Bill returned with his hand extended. "I just hope that everything works out for you. If the President asks my opinion, I'll give him the strongest possible recommendation that you be pardoned for everything and that the government find a way to clear up the mess with the Chinese."

Jack and Audrey left Bill's office and headed silently down the stairs. It had been implied when Bill handed Jack the key card that the room was for the two of them if that was what they both wanted, but neither knew quite how to broach the subject. They walked through the bullpen and Jack pulled Audrey into a quiet alcove near the exit.

"Audrey," he whispered as he turned to face her. "More than anything I wish that I could offer you a lifetime together, but I can't. Right now, the most I can offer is the next 24 hours. If you'd like to stay with me, at least we can have that time together."

"Don't say that, Jack," Audrey admonished him. "President Gardner can't keep you in custody."

"Yes, he can, Audrey. Don't get your hopes up. I think it's pretty unlikely that I'm going to walk away scot-free. Gardner is probably going to keep me in custody in the US, but he could also turn me over to the Chinese. Remember, this is his first day on the job. He doesn't want to be seen as being "soft". He needs to take a decisive stand and it will probably be at my expense. You have to face that, Audrey," he told her realistically. "But I don't want to talk about that or think about that now. We're both tired. If you'd like to join me at the Hilton so we can get some sleep, I'd love to have you."

Audrey took Jack's hand. "I intend to stay next to you for as long as I can. I just hope that you're wrong and that we do have a lifetime together."

Jack and Audrey were driven to the Hilton by two CTU agents that Jack had known for years. The agents followed them into the hotel and up to their suite. It was with bemused smiles that the agents watched the couple enter the room and lock the door behind them.

Once inside the two immediately melted into each other's arms. Despite sharing a brief embrace and kiss the evening before, they had never had the chance to really hold each other. Their 18 months apart forgotten, the embrace felt as familiar as if they had been together the whole time. Audrey pressed her face into the crook of Jack's neck as she always had and Jack's hands assumed their favorite positions: one near her left shoulder blade and the other against her spine on the small of her back. It had the effect of securing her body against his, protective yet loving and tender.

"This feels so good, baby," Jack whispered.

"I know. If I weren't about to pass out from exhaustion, I would stand here forever."

"Me, too," he responded. "Are you ready to go to sleep?"

"I've got to have a shower first. You can join me if you like."

Jack didn't say a word but led Audrey to the bathroom. He turned on the water to warm it up while each of them unceremoniously undressed without any help from the other. They stepped into the shower and took turns letting the hot water cascade over them. Audrey surveyed Jack's body. He was generally pretty bruised but the most prominent was a large, deep purple patch on the left side of his chest from the kick delivered by the assassin that Walt Cummings had hired to kill him. Fortunately, the attack left him with nothing more than broken ribs that were painful, but hadn't hindered his performance.

When Audrey realized how close Cummings had come to killing Jack, not just in the past day, but 18 months ago, she shuddered. She remembered sharing a bed with Walt and the thought made her feel cheap and dirty. How could Walt have so casually undressed her and gotten into bed with her knowing that just months before he had ordered Secret Service to kill the man she loved, a man she was still grieving for when she met Walt at the hotel near Baltimore. She wondered if Walt knew that night that Jack was alive or if he found out later. Was he using her to get information? Was he trying to find out what she knew about Jack? She remembered his hands of her body and wondered now if he had really cared about her of if he was just trying to get inside _her head_ while he was inside _of her_. He had called her several times in the two weeks after she broke off the relationship trying to persuade her to see him again. She had been flattered, thinking that Walt really cared for her. Now she was just annoyed at herself for acting like a smitten schoolgirl. At the moment she was just glad the son of a bitch was dead. She only wished that Jack had been the one to kill him. She wished that Jack had slowly and painfully cut him apart while he begged for mercy. Audrey had never wished pain on anyone in her life, but she wished right now that Walt Cummings had suffered for what he had done to her.

"Are you okay?" Jack asked interrupting Audrey's thoughts.

"Yeah, why?" she answered trying to push her anger and embarrassment to the back of her mind.

"You're quiet," Jack responded as he lathered her back with soap and rinsed it off.

"Just enjoying the moment," Audrey said. That part was true. She enjoyed Jack's hands on her.

Despite the fact that they stood naked together in a hotel shower, something they hadn't done is 18 months, the act was surprisingly asexual. They weren't madly fondling or caressing. Too tired to do much more, they were just washing each other; lathering skin and hair and rinsing suds away. Not only was it not sexual, but it was, in some odd way, therapeutic. While they cleansed their bodies, they also cleansed their souls and their minds. They scrubbed away the past 18 months. It could never be forgotten, but it could be sanitized and made into something that they both could live with; that they could hide in the far reaches of their minds.

Audrey turned to face Jack and took the soap from him. She cupped it in her wet hands and rubbed it lightly over his chest. Soft white bubbles formed and clung to the scant blond hair that covered his chest. Jack closed his eyes to take in the feeling. He wanted the moment to last forever and he memorized every second of it so that he could relive it and treasure in the days and weeks and years to come. Days and weeks and years that he was convinced would be spent without Audrey. Days and weeks and years that could be spent in federal prison or worse, in Chinese prison. This moment, these memories would have to keep him going. He focused on the feel of Audrey's touch and the softness of her hands. He inhaled the fragrance of the soap and felt the gentle pelting of the water. It was this moment he would focus on when the Chinese tortured him. You had to have a good focal point or you would break. This would be his focal point. He had been tortured before but in the past he had never been able to plan for it. He had always been taken by surprise. That was harder. When that happened you had to conjure up a focal point while the adrenaline was flowing and you were trying to get away. No, this time he would be prepared. His focal point was already strong and clear in his mind.

Even if he wasn't physically tortured, it would be emotional torture to spend a lifetime away from Audrey. He loved her more that he had ever loved anyone. He didn't like to admit it to himself and would never say so out loud, but he loved her even more than he had loved Teri. It had taken him a long time to come to that conclusion, but he eventually did. That didn't make her loss any easier, nor did it ease his guilt. It was just a matter of fact. He had certainly loved Teri and, at the time, he had no idea that his love for a woman could be deeper or more intense, but he had come to realize that what he had with Audrey was different. It was deeper and more passionate.

Jack and Audrey stood in the shower for a long time, both exhausted but neither wanting to leave the warm, intimacy of the shower. It was Jack who finally turned off the water and reached past the shower curtain for towels. They dried each other off without speaking and silently padded off to the bedroom.

It was nearly noon and sun was streaking across the room when Jack and Audrey slipped naked between the sheets and, as casually as if they did it every day, curled up in the middle of the bed. It was a position that they had often slept in: both lying on their right sides with Audrey's back pressed against Jack's front. Each curve fit perfectly and Jack's arm wrapped protectively around Audrey. Their fingers entwined loosely. Jack pressed his lips against the base of Audrey's neck.

"God, I love you, Audrey," he whispered as his voice cracked with emotion.

Audrey turned over to face him as he broke down and cried. The overwhelming pain of the last day, a pain that he had compartmentalized until now, had finally become unbearable. He held Audrey tightly as he cried as hard as he had ever cried before. Not since Teri died had his losses been so great. First David Palmer. A death he learned of on the television news. It was a stunning blow. Jack loved David Palmer. Their political views had been very different, but Jack believed that a finer, more honest or kinder man had never walked the face of the earth. Tough when he had to be but otherwise fair and always unassuming, David Palmer had been a good leader for the country.

The news of Palmer's death was just beginning to sink in and become real when Jack learned that Michelle and Tony had been attacked and that Michelle was dead. Michelle's death hurt as much as Palmer's had but the pain got worse by far when Tony died in his arms later in the day. Jack made no attempt to resuscitate him. As much as he didn't want his friend to die, he knew that Tony's life would be a living hell without Michelle. With Tony's recent history of alcohol abuse, Jack knew that Tony would simply return to the bottle and drown. Letting him die was simply more compassionate.

But the worst blow by far, the one from which he doubted that he would ever recover, was Kim's rejection of him. He wasn't sure if she truly wanted to hurt him or if she felt that this was the only way to protect herself from further pain. The things she said, her refusal to kiss or even hug him, were worse than a dagger through his heart. Even the jerk that she was dating had thanked him for saving their lives. Kim hadn't even done that. Was this his fault? Had he turned her into the hate-filled creature that stood in front of him? In his entire adult life, all Jack had ever wanted was to be surrounded by a loving family. Being with Teri and Kim had kept him grounded. He would never forget the bittersweet joy in his heart when Teri told him that she was pregnant for the second time. He imagined them, the four of them, together and happy, yet, at the same time, he knew that he was not likely to survive rescuing Kim from the Drazens. He was sure that he wouldn't live to see his child born.

Now, with Teri and their unborn child long dead and Kim rejecting him and having his future in the hands of a brand new president, Jack cried. He knew that his hopes and dreams for a family and a normal life were, most likely, a sad pipedream; one that could never be reality, a pipedream that would die with him someday.

As tired as she was, Audrey lay awake holding Jack and crying with him. She wanted to sleep more than anything in the world, but was determined not to do so until Jack did. He needed her to be with him right now. He needed her to comfort him and she would do that regardless of how tired she was. She knew how much pain he was in and how terrible the losses of the previous day had been and she wanted to make sure that he knew how very much he was loved.

Audrey didn't know how long she held Jack before exhaustion finally got the better of him and he fell asleep. He had slowly stopped crying and his body began to relax. For a long time occasional sobs interrupted his slow, steady breathing. Audrey used the edge of the sheet to gently dry his face, then she kissed his lips and settled in his arms. She finally allowed herself to close her eyes and enjoy the peace and the happiness of sleeping in Jack's arms again.


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks for the great reviews for Chapter 1. Hope you like chapter 2 as well. _

Chapter 2

When Audrey first awoke, she had no idea what time it was or how long she had been sleeping. The room was dark, so she knew that it had to be after 7 o'clock in the evening but beyond that she had no concept of time. She was stretched out on her stomach and Jack's hand was gently meandering down her back. He had started at the nape of her neck and was working his way in a serpentine fashion down to the base of her spine. Audrey groaned quietly to let Jack know that she was awake and enjoying his attention.

Jack smiled at the sound. Audrey was enjoying herself and he decided that it was safe to move to the next level. He pushed her hair away from her neck and began to kiss the soft skin. He slowly moved down, following the path his hand had taken kissing her over and over. He dragged the tip of his tongue across her skin between kisses leaving a cool, wet trail all down her back.

Audrey reveled in the feeling. It was amazing. How could he do it? How could Jack Bauer, super agent, who could strangle a man with his bare hands or break his neck if he had to, use those same hands to show such love? Hands that just hours earlier had clutched a knife and slit the throat of a hostile now caressed her tenderly. Lips that had shouted out orders and directives now kissed her with unabashed passion. It was so incongruous, yet, as she had come to learn, that was Jack. So brutal and hateful to those who dared strike a blow against the people and the country that Jack loved, while at the same time, so loving and kind and fiercely loyal to those who cared for him and helped him in his pursuit. It had taken Audrey a long time to begin to understand Jack. Eighteen months ago she didn't. That day had been an eye opening experience for her. It was months afterward before she could look back on it objectively and know that, although she may have hated some of the things that Jack had done, he only did what he had to and he had taken none of the decisions lightly. Now, having the chance to watch Jack in action once more, Audrey not only understood him, but trusted his judgment implicitly. Even when he was interrogating her, even when he held her against the wall and screamed at her, his face only inches from her own, she knew that he would not hurt her. He would do what it took to discover the truth and he would clear her name. The minutes that she spent in medical interrogation had been the longest of her life, but, as she told Jack when he rescued her, she had held fast to the belief that Jack would come; he would save her.

Audrey lay still feeling the soft pressure from Jack's hand increase and his kisses become more passionate. She didn't hesitate for a second when he reached for her shoulder and turned her over. Her previous thoughts about agent, Jack Bauer were immediately replaced by ones of lover, Jack Bauer. They were now facing each other and their lips met in the darkness. They tasted the love that both had been craving for so long. Their passion escalated quickly and they began kissing frantically. Neither had to speak aloud the fear that this would be the last chance they would ever have to make love, for it was simply understood. They groped and fondled, both knowing full well what excited the other: a little more pressure here, a little less pressure there, a kiss instead of a touch, a tongue to provide a sensation that a finger could not.

It was a partnership at times with control being shared, while at other times it became a game where control was wrested by one or the other. They took turns being in control; for a while it was Jack and later it was Audrey and it continued to go back and forth.

Of all the times they had made love, this was by far the most exciting and, as she found herself once again in control, Audrey could take no more. She had to have him. She needed to feel him inside of her. Audrey repositioned herself during a flurry of kisses so that Jack was on top of her. She then reached between their bodies to take possession of him. Jack gasped and groaned softly. Audrey began directing him into her, shaking in anticipation of the feeling.

Jack, balancing on his hands and knees above her, pulled away. "Baby," he panted, "we don't have any protection."

"Don't worry about it," Audrey panted back having not let go of him. "It's okay." Even as she said it, she knew that she was lying and she didn't care. Her periods were as regular as clockwork and she had started her last one exactly two weeks earlier. She was at the height of her fertility and she knew it. This wasn't a risk; it was a calculated gamble. She was her greatest desire to conceive and bear Jack's child, preferably a son. Audrey would finally have a part of him that no one could take away from her. The government couldn't have him, the terrorists couldn't have him, the Chinese couldn't have him. He would be hers forever. She would look at him and know that he was his father's son and that Jack would be proud of him. If it so happened that the President pardoned Jack and he returned to her, well all the better. They would raise their child together. If, as she had come to expect, Jack was gone from her life after today, she would raise their child alone and make sure that he knew all about his father and was proud of him.

Jack took Audrey's words at face value. She had always taken care of birth control in the past and he suspected that she continued to do so. It really didn't occur to him that she wasn't seeing anyone right now and would have no need for birth control. He allowed her to ease him into her feeling as if he had suddenly been transported to another world. Audrey wrapped her legs around his thighs to maintain a tighter hold on him. Jack groaned loudly unable to control his own voice.

Jack allowed himself to rest on top of Audrey and catch his breath after their nearly simultaneous climax. Audrey lay still and, despite the fact that her legs were starting to cramp, she kept them wrapped around Jack. She hoped that by staying in that position, that it would somehow give Jack's sperm a better chance to find their way to an unsuspecting egg.

Jack eventually eased himself off of her and tried to pull her on top of him. Audrey resisted the change in position. "Are you okay?" he asked wondering why she was suddenly so still and quiet.

"I'm fine," she said back smiling. "I just don't feel like moving," she lied. "Make love to me again. Please. I need to feel you again," she begged. She felt like a lioness in heat. Her only thought now was perpetuating the species. Making love again would simply provide her with more sperm and more chances for conception.

Jack laughed. "Can I have a second to recover?"

"Take your time. I'm not going anywhere," Audrey assured him as she nuzzled his neck and started kissing him.

They made love again and afterwards Jack drifted off to sleep. Audrey continued to lie on her back. Jack was on his side facing her, his hand resting softly on her stomach. She found it almost symbolic. As if Jack's hand were there to protect their child despite the fact that he would likely never know of the child's existence.

After the chaos of the previous day, Audrey relished the dark, still, quiet of the hotel room. She could hear Jack's slow rhythmic breathing and the reality of where she was and who she was with hit her like an avalanche. From the moment that she learned of David Palmer's assassination, she felt as if she were living in a dream, or actually, a nightmare. Lying here now with Jack, it was suddenly all so real. It had really happened. David Palmer was really dead. So were Tony and Michelle, and Edgar and Lynn McGill and scores of others. But Jack was alive. He was alive and he loved her and he was sleeping peacefully next to her.

_What a strange twist of fate that she should have ended up here_, she thought. Her mother would have disagreed with her. Fate, Susan Heller would have said, had nothing to do with it. From the time Audrey was a little girl, Susan always told her that "God always puts you exactly where you are supposed to be." It seemed so reasonable when she was young. She remembered one time in particular that made her firmly believe that her mother was right about that. She was hiking with her family at the Grand Canyon. She and her mother had become separated from her father and brother. Darkness had fallen and it was getting harder and harder to negotiate the trail. Audrey remembered that she wasn't so much afraid as she was annoyed. As she and her mother rounded a curve in the trail, they came out from under the thick canopy of pine trees that blankets the north rim of the canyon and stepped into a wide vista. Just at that moment, a thin cloud cover that had been obscuring the moon moved out of the way. The full moon suddenly lit up the canyon. It was an incredible sight. The purples and the reds and the rusts that made up the layers of rock within the canyon shone in the moon light. Audrey would never forget it. Surely God in His infinite wisdom had put her there at that moment to see this unimaginable sight.

As she grew older, her faith had waned. She didn't see the world or God the same way that her mother saw them. If there really was a God, she couldn't imagine that He wasted His time worrying about each individual's place on the planet at any given time. That was just too ridiculous to fathom. Now as she lay next to Jack, she wasn't so sure about it. Why was she here? She wasn't even supposed to be in California this week. Her father was supposed to accompany the President on this trip. The meeting with the Russian president made this a highly important diplomatic meeting that the Secretary of Defense would be expected to attend. A flare up in tensions half way around the world resulted in Jim Heller having to leave the country two days before the summit. Audrey, as the Senior Policy Analyst, was a natural choice to replace him at the President's side. With the assassination of David Palmer the morning of the summit, Mike Novick asked her to act as the administration's and DoD's liaison to CTU. One twist after another and now here she was lying against Jack and, hopefully, soon to become the mother of his child. _Maybe you're right, Mom_, Audrey thought. _Maybe God did put me here for a reason._ She clung to that thought as she finally closed her eyes to sleep.

Audrey was lying awake the next morning when the phone rang. She had slept for a while, but disturbing dreams involving Jack running from faceless government officials kept waking her up. She finally gave up sleeping and lay next to Jack enjoying the warmth of his body. She reached for the ringing phone hoping to get it before it woke Jack.

"Hello," she said quietly.

"Audrey, I'm sorry to wake you." It was Bill. "Can I talk to Jack?"

"Sure, Bill. Hang on. I have to wake him."

"I'm awake," Jack told her as he reached over her and took the phone from her hand.

"Bill," he said simply.

"Jack, I just heard from Mike Novick. The President wants to meet with you at 3 o'clock. The guards on your room will drive. You'll leave the hotel with them around two," Bill told him. He hated being so blunt, but he wasn't all that good at making small talk and the moment didn't seem to warrant it anyway.

"Do you know what the decision is?" Jack asked.

"No, the President is meeting with his advisors at noon. They've asked me to video conference in with them but only to make a statement. After that I'll be excused. According to Mike I won't be part of the discussion. I'm going to sit down now and draft my statement. I'll put as positive a spin on it as I can, Jack. You know that."

"Thanks, Bill. I appreciate that. I'll be ready to go. Can you have someone drive Audrey back to her hotel as well?"

"Audrey can stay in the suite at the Hilton until tomorrow. I spoke with her father. He's flying in from Washington for the meeting and he's planning to stay at the Hilton, too. He'll take care of the transportation for Audrey."

"Thanks, Bill. I'll tell her," Jack said. He and Bill completed their brief conversation and Jack disconnected.

Audrey lay quietly listening to Jack's end of the conversation. She knew that it would come to this; that Jack would have to leave her and, in all likelihood, would never come back. But knowing that it would happen and facing it were two different things.

Jack pulled Audrey into his arms. Her eyes filled with tears. "When do you have to leave?" she asked.

"Two o'clock," he said as he pressed his lips softly to her forehead.

"Can I go with you?"

"No, Bill said for you to stay here. Your father is coming and he has a room here, too. You can leave with him tomorrow."

"Oh, Jack, I can't do this. I can't lose you again," Audrey sobbed.

"Shhh," Jack hushed her tenderly. "Baby, we can't change whatever happens. You have to go on and live your life. Be happy that we had this chance to really say goodbye." Even while he was saying it, Jack didn't believe a word of it. He hoped that it sounded good to Audrey, because it sounded stupid to him.

The two of them lay in bed holding each other for a long time. Neither spoke. There were no words that seemed to fit the moment. Eventually Jack called room service and ordered breakfast. It was such a simple act, yet it amazed Audrey. She couldn't understand how Jack could act so normally, eat breakfast, take a shower, shave, when his whole life was going to change in a matter of hours. She could barely keep down the bagel with cream cheese and the coffee that had been delivered to their room. If it hadn't been that 24 hours had passed since she last ate, she doubted if she would have even tried to eat.

Audrey watched their time together tick away. Jack got dressed in clean CTU "fatigues" (black pants and tee shirt covered by a CTU jacket) that Bill had provided. As two o'clock approached, she got out of bed and put on the white terry cloth robe that hung in the bathroom and she walked Jack to the door of the suite. They stood together looking into each other's eyes for a long time before one of the guards knocked on the door.

"Mr. Bauer," he called. "It's time."

Jack took Audrey into his arms for one last hug. He didn't kiss her for fear that he wouldn't be able to stop. So he held her and whispered his love to her. Once again he took the time to memorize the moment. He took special note of the softness of her hair and skin and the sweet scent that emanated from her whole body. He felt the perfect curves of her figure and how they fit against him. It took all of his strength to pull away from her, but he took a deep breath and did it.

"This isn't the end, Jack," Audrey said in a tremulous voice. "You'll be back tonight. I know you will. You're coming back to me," she said as she broke down. "Please come back to me, Jack. Please!" she begged.

Jack touched her face a final time. He kissed her cheek and then opened the door. Audrey stood in the doorway crying as Jack walked away with the two agents. She watched them walk all the way down the hall and get into an elevator. She noticed that Jack never looked back at her and she suspected that he couldn't; that he was crying, too and that he feared losing control if he had to look at her.

The day passed at the pace of a glacier. Audrey tried to keep busy. She opened the newspaper but found that it was page after page about the terrorist attacks and, having lived it, she certainly couldn't read any more about it. Television was more of the same. Either she watched a news station that relived the attacks or she watched some mindless sitcom from the '80's. Neither seemed worthwhile. So instead, she spent most of her day staring out the window and imagining what it would be like to have Jack walk in the door. In her mind, he would knock on the door and she would instantly recognize the knock. She would run to the door where Jack would be standing, smiling broadly. He wouldn't say a word, but would sweep her off of her feet and carry her directly to bed. They would make love for endless hours before they would even talk about what had happened in his meeting with the President. He would tell her how the President had gratefully thanked Jack for his service to the country and given him his unconditional freedom. The President, Jack would tell her, would clear up everything with the Chinese and he was free to live his life. Unfortunately, the more likely scenario was that her father would show up at the door looking grim and defeated and tell her that Jack was not coming back. She tried to push that thought from her mind. She couldn't let herself think about that unless it actually happened. More than once she reached down and touched her stomach wondering what was happening inside of her. Was it possible that she conceived? It was almost too much to hope for.

The hours came and went. Three o'clock. Four o'clock. Five o'clock. She called her father's private line twice and both times it went to voice mail. At six o'clock, she couldn't stand it any more. She picked up the phone and called Bill Buchanan who she knew would still be at work.

"Buchanan," he answered the phone.

"Bill, it's Audrey. Have you heard anything about Jack?"

"Nothing at all," he answered. "I really don't expect to hear anything from the President, Audrey."

"I thought Mike Novick might call you," Audrey said hopefully.

"I doubt it," Bill told her. "Unless Jack is released and he calls me himself, I doubt that I'll ever know his fate. I suspect that will be kept within the President's inner circle. You'll have a better chance of finding out from your father than I'll have getting any information from the President." Bill paused for a moment. He liked Audrey and he hated to see her hurt again. He remembered running into her accidentally in the hallway just minutes after Jack had been "killed" and being forced to break the news to her. He would never forget her reaction. She literally melted against the wall and was practically catatonic as he helped her up and guided her to the medical unit. He didn't want to hurt her again now but she had to be realistic about this. "Audrey," Bill said gently, "the fact that we haven't heard anything from Jack by now isn't a good sign."

Audrey tried to stifle a sob, but Bill could still hear it. "I know," she whispered into the phone. "I'm just hoping against hope," she admitted as her voice faltered.

"So am I," Bill agreed. "Maybe that's the best thing to do. Try and stay hopeful until you hear otherwise." Bill rolled his eyes at his own stupidity. A minute ago he was trying to bring her to some sense of reality and now he was telling her to pretend whatever she liked. It crossed his mind that maybe this was exactly why he had never married. It had become obvious to him back when he was in college that, as much as he liked women, he didn't understand them or know at all how to handle them.

Audrey thanked Bill for all of his kindness and told him that she hoped to see him again sometime. They each said good bye and disconnected. Alone with her thoughts once again, Audrey sat down on the sofa to brood. She hadn't been sitting there fifteen minutes when she heard a knock at the door.

It wasn't as she had imagined it. In her day dreams, she could tell by the knock who stood on the other side of the locked door, but having just heard the knock, it didn't sound familiar at all. Audrey froze. Who was there? Was it Jack or her father? Maybe they sent someone from the security detail to talk to her. Why would they have done that?

Long seconds passed and still Audrey didn't move. The knock was repeated and still she couldn't identify it. She stood slowly, willing herself to move to the door, to face whatever had happened.

"Who is it?" she called in a tentative voice as she neared the door.

"It's Dad, Audrey," Jim Heller answered.

Audrey opened the door part way and looked past her father, hoping that Jack was standing behind him in the hallway, but the only people behind him were his security detail. Tears immediately drained down her face. She opened the door the rest of the way and fell without a word into her father's arms. Jim closed his arms around his daughter and walked a step or two into the room with her as his security detail closed the door behind him. He was surprised by her appearance. She was uncharacteristically disheveled and she looked tired, almost haggard. Her eyes were puffy from crying. Despite the fact that she was almost as tall as he, she suddenly looked small and fragile to him. The look almost frightened him and he worried about her state of mind.

"Calm down, Sweetheart," he said as he led her to the sofa and sat her down. "When did you last eat?" It was a silly question, but as thin and pale as Audrey looked, it was all he could think to say.

"Where's Jack?" Audrey asked ignoring her father's question. "Is he coming back?" Audrey searched her father's face. As usual, it was unreadable. The man could play poker with the best of them. He could be holding a royal flush or a pair of deuces but, at the moment, Audrey wasn't sure which.

_Okay, loyal readers, now I have a problem. I have three endings that I like and I'm not sure which one to use. I've outlined all of them but have not totally written any of them yet. If I end up liking more than one of them, I'm tossing around posting more than one ending. They did it on the season 1 DVD, so why shouldn't I try it? Any thoughts? _


	3. Chapter 3

_Okay, here's ending #1. I'm still working on the other two, but I think this is going to be my favorite. Let me know what you think. _

Alternate Ending 1:

"I asked you if Jack was coming back," Audrey said sternly.

Jim Heller turned his back on his daughter and walked toward the window.

"Damn it, Dad! I asked you a question. Answer me! Is Jack coming back or not?"

Heller turned back toward her with his head down. He was massaging his forehead with the tips of his fingers. "No, Sweetheart," he whispered. "He's not coming back."

Audrey shook her head slowly back and forth. "No," she said quietly. "Oh, God, no! Dad, tell me it isn't true. Please, I need to have him back. Dad, please," she cried. "How could you have let Hal Gardner do this?"

"It's not like I didn't try, Audrey," Jim said emphatically. "Believe me, I did everything I could. President Gardner and the others present agreed that Jack saved millions of lives by his actions at the Chinese embassy 18 months ago and that his actions were heroic. The problem is that the Chinese don't see it the same way. There is no good way to give Jack his life back without creating a huge diplomatic incident with the Chinese."

"Is he being turned over to the Chinese?" Audrey asked fearfully.

"No, they agreed not to do that."

"So where is he?"

"I'm sorry. I can't tell you, Audrey. It's confidential," Jim explained to his daughter.

"I'm your daughter," she reminded him.

"I'm well aware of that," Jim replied sarcastically. "This is considered a matter of national security, Audrey. If you think it's the only piece of national security that I'm keeping from you, you're wrong. There are a lot of things I can't tell you and you know that."

"This is different, Dad, and you know it," she said angrily.

"It's no different, Audrey. Knowing where Jack is won't make things any easier for you. Regardless of where he is, Jack's gone from your life forever. You have to come to grips with that. I'm sorry."

Audrey nodded. She knew that her father was right. A sudden, stoic calm came over her. She walked away rubbing her belly lightly. "You're right. It doesn't matter."

Jim Heller was surprised by his daughter's sudden change in attitude. Audrey was normally tenacious and for her to give up this easily was unusual.

"It doesn't matter," she repeated. "I have a part of Jack that the government can never have. They can't take it from me."

"Audrey, what are you talking about?" Jim could feel the worry beginning to build in the pit of his stomach. He feared that his daughter was in the middle of some sort of break down. "Talk to me, Audrey. What are you trying to say?"

"I'm pregnant," she answered looking him directly in the eye.

Jim stared at her looking utterly confused. "What? By whom?" he asked.

"Jack," she answered nonchalantly.

"Jack? You were only with him one night."

"If the timing is right, then that's all it takes."

"Yes, Audrey, I'm well aware of that. What I'm saying is that you were with him _last_ night. You can't possibly know that you're pregnant less than 24 hours later. Pregnancy tests have changed since your mother and I had you, but they still require more than a day to turn positive."

"You're right. I don't have any proof yet, I just know that I am," Audrey told her father with an air of authority.

Again, Heller was stunned by the change in his daughter. She was always so level headed and rational, but her behavior today was anything but that. "Okay, Audrey," Jim started, "let's say, for argument's sake, that you really are pregnant. What happens next?"

Audrey looked at him like he had three heads. "Well let's see, based on high school biology, I'd say that nine months from now, I'll be a mother and you will be the doting grandfather."

"Who's going to raise this child?" Jim asked.

"I'll raise him, Dad. Who else do you think is going to raise him? Your friends in high places made sure that his father wouldn't be here to help me raise him."

Heller ignored his daughter's insinuation that he was somehow involved in separating her from Jack. "Neither your job nor your lifestyle is particularly conducive to raising a child, Audrey. Have you thought of that?"

"To be quite honest, I've had all day to think, Dad. I'll continue working with you for a few months and I'll train a replacement. Then we'll announce that I'm resigning to pursue other opportunities in the private sector. I can always do consulting work. And with the trust fund I have, frankly, I can take a few years off if I want to. The baby and I won't starve."

It was then that Jim realized that Audrey had really taken the time to think this through. She was rational and calm, the Audrey he was used to. "You're serious about all of this, aren't you?"

"I've never been more serious in my life."

Jim looked at Audrey and his expression softened. "Then I'm behind you a hundred percent," he said as he put his arms around his daughter. "I'll do whatever I can to support you."

The pregnancy was confirmed a few weeks later and Jim, never one to shirk on a promise, provided more support than Audrey could have hoped for. When she went into labor, it was Jim who was by her side. He held her hand and cooed words of encouragement as she brought his first grandchild into the world.

John James Heller was blond and blue eyed. He was a big baby at nearly nine pounds and he screamed heartily as he took his first breath. Audrey laughed as she looked at her father.

"He's got Jack's lungs," she said.

"That's for sure," the proud grandfather agreed with a smile.

The day progressed and Audrey found that she could hardly take her eyes off of her new son. He was all that she had ever hoped for. She was alone in her hospital room (her father had gone home to get some sleep) once again staring at the baby, memorizing his perfect, tiny features, when she heard a knock at her door.

"Come in," she called absently. She didn't bother to look up as she was assuming that it was one of the nurses.

"Hello, Audrey."

Audrey startled and turned toward the voice. She would have known that voice anywhere. She heard it nightly in her sleep. "Jack?"

Jack closed the door behind him and walked slowly toward her.

"Jack, how did you know? How did you get here?" Audrey gasped in surprise.

Wordlessly Jack leaned down over the bed. He put his hand behind her neck and turned her face to his. His lips met hers and they shared a tender kiss. As the kiss broke, they stared into each other's eyes for a long moment.

"Thank you for the beautiful son, Audrey," Jack whispered. "May I hold him?"

"Of course," Audrey answered almost numbly as she held the baby out to him.

Jack took his small son into his arms and sat in the rocking chair that was near the bed. Like Audrey, he was unable to take his eyes off of the baby. "What's his name?"

"John James Heller," Audrey said proudly.

"Heller?" Jack asked finally looking up. He knew that once she was married, Audrey had always used the name "Raines". It gave her a professional identity separate from her father.

"Yes, I legally changed my name back to 'Heller' a few months ago. I knew that I couldn't give the baby your name and I didn't want him to have Paul's name, that didn't seem right. So I decided that I would at least give him his grandfather's name."

Jack nodded and returned his gaze to the baby sleeping in his arms. Audrey took the moment to try and grasp what had just happened. How did he do it? How did Jack manage to walk into her life when she least expected it? He sat before her rocking their son as if it were the most normal thing in the world. He was dressed in khaki slacks and a navy blue sport coat, with a white shirt and red tie. It was exactly the "uniform" the hospital security staff wore. Audrey smiled. Leave it to Jack to figure out how to get into the well secured maternity unit at the most exclusive hospital in Washington DC.

"I can't believe you're here," Audrey told him. "How did you find out?"

"Chloe."

"I never told Chloe," Audrey said shaking her head. "I haven't seen Chloe since we left CTU."

Jack smiled. "You know Chloe. I asked her to keep track of you, make sure you were okay. That's like giving her license to snoop. A couple of months ago she told me that there was an unusual amount of activity on your health insurance account. I got worried that you might be sick. Chloe did some further investigating and about a month ago, she found that you were pre-registered to the maternity unit here. It didn't take a genius to count backwards and figure out that we were together at the right time. Besides," he continued with a slight smile, "if the baby wasn't mine there would be someone else here with you right now and you wouldn't be all that happy to see me."

"There was no one else, Jack. There's no doubt that he's your son."

Jack shook his head slowly as if trying to process everything. "I asked you that night if we needed protection and you said that we didn't. I'm sorry. I would have stopped if you had just warned me. I never meant for this to happen."

"Oh, but I did, Jack. I knew when I told you not to worry about birth control that I could very possibly become pregnant. It was what I wanted. I wanted to have your son. Please don't be sorry because I'm not. I'm thrilled to death."

"How is your father taking this? He's kind of an old fashioned guy. Is he upset?"

"Not at all. He was right there with me when John was born. He's as proud as can be. I sold my house and moved back in with him. His place is huge. The baby and I have our own wing. I knew that I'd need some support and Dad has been right there to help."

"Tell him I said 'thank you.' If I can't be there for John, I'm happy that your father can," Jack said sincerely.

"Where have you been living, Jack?" Audrey asked.

"I've kind of been all over but mostly in the middle east. I'm working for the CIA doing deep cover work. I've been out of the country for the last six months. I'm leaving again next week."

Audrey wanted to ask more about his work, but she knew that he wouldn't answer. He probably told her more than he should have already.

"I'm glad you were here to see the baby before you had to leave again."

Jack smiled somewhat impishly. "I arranged it that way. When I planned my next assignment, I told my contacts at the CIA that I couldn't go right away, that I would give them the date that I was available. I wanted to make sure that I saw you and the baby."

"I'm surprised they let you get away with that. I would think they would give the orders and you would follow."

That made Jack laugh. "Me? Follow orders? Come on, Audrey. You know me better than that. The CIA knows that, too. Remember, I worked for them in the past. They know that if they push me too hard, I'll disappear and they'll never find me again. I won't surface again for thirty years and by then I'll be too old to be of any use to them."

Audrey smiled knowing that everything Jack said was true. She watched as Jack stood up and came toward her. He put the baby back into her arms and then lowered the rail on the hospital bed. Audrey moved over to make room for him and Jack sat next to her on the bed. He put his arm around her shoulders and the two of them reclined against the pillows while they watched their son stretch and yawn. Audrey rested her head against Jack's chest wishing that they could stay here forever.

They were quiet for a long time until Audrey broke the silence. "Could you really do it, Jack?"

"Do what?" Jack asked not sure what she was talking about.

"Disappear so that the CIA couldn't find you," Audrey explained.

"If I wanted to, yes, I could," he said confidently.

"Then let's do it. The three of us: you, John and me. We'll just disappear and never look back. We can go to Europe or Australia or Tahiti or anywhere, Jack," Audrey pleaded. "Please, let's just go. I want us to be together."

Jack shook his head. "No," he said simply. "No, Audrey. It's too complicated and it's too dangerous. If I had to disappear, I'd be on the run for months. I might end up in Europe or Australia, but it would be by a circuitous route so no one could follow. I wouldn't be staying the four star hotels, Audrey. I'd be doing a whole lot of working my way across countries and sleeping in tents and cheap motels. Honey, I won't subject you, or especially John, to that life. No, baby. I'll keep working for the CIA and you live here and give our son a good life. That's the way it has to be, Audrey. Just make sure that John knows that I love him."

Jack and Audrey were silent again for a long time. This time it was Jack who spoke. "Would you do me a favor?" he asked Audrey.

"Of course," she told him.

"Can I take a picture of John? I just want to have a picture of him. It won't put him in any danger, Audrey, I promise. I'll make sure that it's not dated. So even if I'm captured, no one will know how old the picture is. They won't be able to identify him. He'll change so much in the next few weeks, that he won't look like the same child. If you're afraid, I'll understand. I was just hoping that you would let me do it. You know that I wouldn't do anything to put our son in danger, Audrey."

Audrey agreed without hesitation. She watched as Jack set up the picture taking care that nothing in the picture could identify Audrey or the hospital or the date. Finally satisfied, he snapped the picture. He reviewed it carefully on the camera's screen to make sure that nothing could link the picture to Audrey or the baby. The task complete, he removed the memory card from the camera, replaced it with a blank one, and slipped the card with the picture on it into a hidden compartment in his PDA.

"There we go," Jack cooed as he picked up John. "Daddy's all finished, big guy." He lifted the baby to his face and kissed his cheek. As he did, he was startled by an unexpected flash. He pulled the baby protectively to his chest as he turned toward the light.

Audrey sat on the bed smiling, her own camera blocking Jack's view of her face. "Let me get one more," she requested happily.

"Audrey, are you crazy? What are you doing?"

"You have a picture of John," she said innocently. "I want a picture of the two of you."

"Not a chance, Audrey. That's too risky. If that picture were to fall into the wrong hands, they'll be able to identify John as my son. They'll use you and John to get to me. I don't want anyone near you two."

"Jack, listen to yourself. You're paranoid. Who's ever going to see the picture? I'll print it at home and keep it in a safe deposit box until John's old enough to understand. I want him to have a picture of himself with you. I want him to know that you came to see him and that you held him. It'll give him a connection to you, Jack. Please, don't deny me this. "

"Audrey, give me the camera," he ordered her in a gentle but urgent voice.

"No, Jack, I won't," she answered firmly.

"Listen to me, Audrey. You need to delete that picture. Please, sweetheart, you have to delete it to be safe. I'll compromise with you. I'll let you take another picture with my camera. I'll put the memory card and copies of the picture in a safe deposit box. If anything happens to me, I'll leave instructions for the key to be returned to you. If I'm still alive when John turns twenty, provided that I think it's safe, I'll send him the key and he can get the pictures himself. Those are my terms, Audrey, and they're non-negotiable. It's not safe for you to have that picture stored on your camera. You need to delete them now."

Audrey relented and deleted the picture knowing that, although Jack was probably more security conscious than necessary, he was only trying to protect her and John. She also knew that he wasn't going to take "no" for an answer. It was easier to do it his way. The result was the same; ultimately John would end up with a picture with his father.

Jack allowed Audrey to set up the picture the way she wanted and the result was Jack holding the baby up so that father and son were nearly cheek to cheek. John even woke up for the event and his blue eyes were bright and alert. Jack couldn't help but smile. Audrey was amazed by how relaxed Jack looked. They both knew that he was leaving soon, but at that particular moment, he looked as it he didn't have a care in the world and that all the mattered was sitting there and holding his son.

With the photography session over and the camera's memory card once again hidden safely in Jack's PDA, he cradled John in his arms and kissed his son one more time.

"Now listen, John," he said softly as his voice cracked with emotion. John's blue eyes were still wide open and focused on his father. "Your mom's got a tough job raising you all by herself. I want you to be good for her and for your grandfather. I love you with all of my heart, son. I'd give anything to be there to watch you grow up, but I can't. Your mom will explain all of this when you grow up. All that's important for you to know right now is that I love you." Jack walked back toward Audrey who sat up in bed, tears flowing freely down her face. "It's time for you to go back to Mommy," he whispered as he set the baby back in Audrey's arms.

"Please, Jack, don't go," she begged quietly.

Jack touched her face gently and kissed her. Neither of them said goodbye before Jack turned and walked out of the door.

Audrey and John went home to Jim Heller's house two days later and Audrey began to settle into the routine of motherhood. Nights were often sleepless and days were filled with tired-eyed wonder as she watched her son change and grow before her eyes. They had been home for almost two weeks when Audrey sat at the kitchen table reading the morning newspaper. Her seemingly always hungry son had gotten her up around 5 o'clock and, after sufficiently filling his tummy, had gone back to sleep. Audrey, on the other hand, was wide awake. She donned a robe and went out to get the newspaper from the driveway. One the way inside, she opened it to bold headlines:

**US STRIKES BIG BLOW IN WAR ON TERRORISM**

Audrey went inside and put an English muffin into the toaster oven and poured herself a cup of coffee. She spread the newspaper out on the kitchen table and started to read:

**Sources from the CIA confirmed scattered reports yesterday that a covert CIA operation resulted in the deaths of five leaders of large, international terrorist cells. The CIA spokesman said that the operation, which had been in the planning stages for the last several months, had gone off "virtually without a hitch," however he was unable to give additional details. **

"**We've struck a big blow to terrorist operations in the Middle East and South Asia," the spokesman told reporters. "This is the most important operation that the CIA has undertaken in several years. The five men killed earlier this week were the highest ranking leaders of their respective cells. Without them, their cells are virtually nonfunctional. None of the organizations had developed a strong second-in-command, so they are now, for all intents and purposes, leaderless. Many of their operatives were captured and those that weren't have scattered like cockroaches. It took these groups years to organize in the first place and we would expect it to take years for them to resurface, if they can do it at all. **

The article went on to give the names of the terrorist leaders and what their organizations could be blamed for in the last few years. Audrey read the next few paragraphs, but no information was given as to the nature of the CIA operation, that, of course, was top secret. But then again, Audrey didn't need any details. She knew who planned and pulled off the operation and she smiled to think of his success. She raised her coffee cup as if in toast. _To you, Jack,_ she thought. After her father had a chance to read the article, she would cut it out and save it for the scrapbook she was making for John all about his father.

Jim Heller came down to breakfast a half hour later followed by his Irish Setter, Shannon. Audrey handed him the paper. "So who do you think led this mission?" she asked smiling.

Jim smiled back as he drank his coffee and read the headlines. Audrey went upstairs to get dressed while Jim continued to read. He finished the paragraphs on the front page and then turned to page 15 where the article continued. He noticed when he did so that the pages were still a little stuck together so he knew that Audrey hadn't read past the front page, a point that seemed unimportant until he read the last few lines:

**The CIA spokesman also confirmed that despite the obvious success of the mission, the CIA regretted to announce the death of the mission leader, whose name the CIA continues to hold in confidence. The spokesman refused to say why the agent's name was not being released stating simply that the agency has the right to protect the identity of its agents both while they are alive and after they are dead. He did offer condolences to the agent's family stating that the "country owes this unnamed agent a debt of gratitude that we can never repay him or his surviving family. He assisted in the planning of the mission and knew full well when he left US soil that the mission, for which he volunteered was, most likely, a suicide mission."**

Jim Heller felt a knot form in his stomach as he read the words again and again. He closed his eyes in silent prayer and wondered how he was ever going to tell Audrey.

Just then Audrey bounced happily down the stairs in a pair of jeans and print blouse. "It's going to be a great day. Not too hot and not too windy. I think I'll take John out in the stroller to the park. That's a nice walk and the fresh air is good for him," Audrey said as she poured another cup of coffee.

Shannon perked up as she heard the word "walk." She jumped up and trotted easily across the kitchen floor to get her leash from the peg near the side door. She set the leash near Audrey's feet and looked at her expectantly.

"Oh, you heard 'walk' didn't you, girl," Audrey said playfully. "Not yet. John's still sleeping. As soon as he wakes up we'll go." Without looking up, Audrey spoke to her father. "You've spoiled her, Dad," she said.

Jim didn't answer her. Audrey looked up noting her father's silence.

"What's wrong, Dad?" she asked.

"Nothing, nothing. I was just reading the paper," he said trying to cover. "So, you're going to take John to the park. That's great. He'll like the sunshine and Shannon will like the w-a-l-k."

"I thought so, too," Audrey said. She pointed to the newspaper. "It's incredible what Jack did. He's amazing."

"It is amazing, Sweetheart," Jim said. "I didn't get a chance to finish it. I think I'll throw it in my briefcase and read it at lunch." Jim folded up the paper and picked it up to prevent Audrey from reading any more of the article. He knew that he should tell her the truth, but he couldn't. She was so happy; he just couldn't destroy that. He also knew that her days had been so full recently that she didn't have time to watch or listen to broadcast news, nor did she have time to surf the internet. This story would quickly blow over and, with the CIA not reporting the name of the dead agent, it was unlikely that Audrey would realize that Jack had been killed in the mission. Then again, Jim rationalized, he actually had no proof that the dead agent was Jack Bauer. Jack could be alive and well and shooting down some little known warlord in a third world country that barely registered on the radar screens of most Americans. No, Jim would say nothing to Audrey. This was truly a case where ignorance was bliss.

The next week passed uneventfully. Audrey mentioned the newspaper article once or twice, but nothing she said indicated to Jim that she knew the truth. It was almost noon the next Saturday and Jim was standing in front of the refrigerator deciding what to eat for lunch when the buzzer at the front gate sounded.

Jim went to the intercom to answer. "Yes," he said.

"Mr. Secretary, this is Bill Buchanan. I'm sorry to bother you, sir, but I need to speak to Audrey. I was hoping that she had a few minutes to spare."

Jim closed his eyes and looked down at the floor. There was no doubt in his mind why Bill Buchanan was currently sitting in his driveway. It would be Bill's sad duty to do what he himself could not. Bill was here to tell Audrey that Jack was dead.

"Of course, Bill. Come on in," Heller said as he pushed the button to open the gate.

A minute later Bill was at the front door and Jim Heller opened the door to welcome him. Bill had a box under his right arm. He shifted it so that he could shake hands.

"Mr. Secretary, it's good to see you," Bill said. Jim noted that his expression was somber and indicated in no way that he was happy to be standing in Heller's foyer at this moment.

"It's good to see you, Bill. Come in. Can I get you something to drink?"

"No, thank you, sir. I won't take much of your time. I'm here to see Audrey."

"She'll be a few minutes. She's upstairs feeding the baby." Jim stopped for a moment. "Did you know that she had a baby a few weeks ago?"

Bill smiled slightly and nodded. "I did. Congratulations. I hear you have a beautiful grandson."

As always when he spoke of John, Jim smiled involuntarily. "He's changed our lives. I can't believe how great it is to have a baby in the house."

Jim led Bill into his den. "Sit down, Bill."

Bill sat down on one side of a big leather couch and set the box on the floor next to it. Although it was soft and he sunk deeply into the cushions, he felt stiff and uncomfortable. He hated being there. Someone could drop him in the middle of a mine field or a gunfight right now and he would be more comfortable. He and Jim made small talk for a few minutes until they heard Audrey come down the stairs.

"Audrey," Jim called. "Come in the den. There's someone here to see you."

They could hear her shoes clicking on the tile floor in the kitchen as she made her way to the den.

"Bill!" she said with a smile as she came into the room. "You're a long way from LA."

"I transferred to Langley a couple of months ago. I decided that it was time to move back east. I'm originally from the east coast," he explained, "and I wanted to be closer to my family."

"That's great! I'm glad to see you." Audrey lifted the baby away from her shoulder. "Look, John, I have someone I want you to meet."

"He's beautiful, Audrey. Congratulations. Jack told me all about him."

"You spoke with Jack?" Audrey asked excitedly.

"I was on a mission with him a couple of weeks ago," Bill explained.

"So you and Jack worked together on the mission to kill the five terrorist cell leaders! I knew it was him," Audrey gushed proudly.

"That's what I want to talk to you about, Audrey. Maybe you should sit down," Bill suggested.

"Honey, let me take the baby," Jim said lifting his grandson out of her arms.

"Oh, God!" Audrey whispered. Realization that Bill was not here just to chat began to sink in as she lowered herself slowly into the chair.

"Jack asked me to give some things to you," Bill said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a safe deposit box key and two envelopes. "There's a letter for you and one for John. And Jack said that you would understand what the key was for."

Audrey nodded numbly and took the key and the envelopes.

Bill bent over to pick up the box. He opened it and took out an American flag folded in a triangle the way the military folded flags after they were removed from a casket. Bill handed the flag to Audrey. "Jack wanted John to have this," he said quietly. "Audrey, I'm so sorry."

Audrey clutched the flag to her chest and sobbed. She began to lean forward on the chair. Bill dropped quickly to one knee to catch her before she could fall. He wrapped his arms around her and she let her head rest on his shoulder as she cried.

"It's real this time, isn't it?" she asked after several minutes of crying. "He's not coming back."

"I'm afraid it is, Audrey," Bill said softly.

"Where is he buried?" Audrey asked as she sat up and tried to compose herself.

"He asked to have his remains cremated and the ashes scattered near the site where he died."

Audrey shook her head. "Damn you, Jack!" she said. "I don't even have a place to take flowers or a headstone to show your son," she said angrily into the air. "How could you do this to me? How could you have your ashes scattered in some third world country half a world away?"

"Don't be angry with him, Audrey," Bill said as he tried to explain Jack's logic. "He struggled with that decision. Jack knew when he volunteered for the mission that, if it went according to plan, he wasn't coming back. The CIA had been watching these guys for two years and they knew their habits. They knew that they met every couple of months on a rotating basis. They also knew that the meeting was well guarded. The only way to get the guys was to get them all at one time. If they got one or two of them, the others would go into seclusion and we would never have another good chance to get them. And," he continued, "if we did take out one or two, all we would do would be succeed in making the others mad and give them a cause to rally around. So a suicide mission that killed all five was the only way."

"So, let me guess," Audrey started. "Jack Bauer, hero and patriot, happens along and they decide to saddle him with a suicide mission."

"No, Audrey. That's not how it was. Over a year ago, the CIA decided not to ask anyone to take this mission. Jack found the initial plans for the mission and asked to lead it. It was his decision. He knew full well the implications of it. He and I discussed it at length several times. He didn't make the decision easily, especially after he found out that you were pregnant. He approached the President again about clearing his name, but the President refused. Once Jack knew that the three of you could never be a real family, he made his decision." Bill shrugged lightly. "If you want my opinion, I think it was just too hard for Jack to know that you and John were almost close enough for him to touch, but you couldn't be a part of his life. I don't think that he could face a lifetime away from the two of you. He loved you both too much to be separated from you.

"When Jack decided to be cremated and have his remains scattered halfway across the world from you, it wasn't to hurt you. He didn't want you to spend any time hanging around a cemetery and grieving for him. Jack wanted you to live your life. When we scattered his ashes, we left him at the site of what he considered his greatest professional success. He felt very strongly that this country would be much safer over the next ten years with those five men dead."

Audrey simply nodded not knowing what else to say.

"Audrey," Bill continued, "I just want you to know how happy Jack was to have a son. He showed everyone on the mission the picture that he took at the hospital. By having John, you gave Jack the greatest gift that anyone could have ever given him. He loved you both so much."

"Thank you," Audrey whispered through her tears.

The ensuing silence was awkward and Bill was more uncomfortable that he could imagine. He listened to Audrey crying quietly and felt as if the walls were closing in on him. "Audrey, I'm so sorry. I wish I could have come here with good news."

"I'm just grateful that it was you who delivered the news. I think it was easier to hear coming from you," Audrey told him. She stood and hugged him.

"If there's ever anything I can do for you, Audrey, just let me know."

Audrey thanked Bill again and Jim walked him to his car. As he returned to the house he found Audrey putting on a jacket. She put a sweat shirt and a tiny baseball cap on John and tucked him with a blanket into his stroller. His big blue eyes were already getting heavy in anticipation of his afternoon nap.

"Where are you going, sweetheart?" Jim asked her.

"I thought I'd take John for a walk to the park. I'll take Shannon with me. She hasn't been walked today," Audrey said as if nothing in her life had changed.

"Let me get a jacket. I'll go with you," her father offered. He started toward the closet.

"If you don't mind, Dad, I'd like to be alone," she told him.

"Then I'll watch John so you can be alone. He's ready for his nap. I'll take him upstairs," Jim told her leaning over to take the baby from the stroller.

"No, Dad. I don't really know how to explain it. I want to be alone, but I want to take John with me. That sounds stupid, I know…"

"Don't try and explain, Audrey," Jim told her as he pulled her into a tight hug. "It's okay. I remember what it was like when I lost your mother. No one can imagine the heartache and you've had to go through this twice with Jack. You and John take a walk and I'll take Shannon and go in the opposite direction so you two can be alone. Just remember that I love you, Audrey. I'll do anything in my power to make all of this easier for you."

Audrey leaned over and kissed her father's cheek. "I love you, too, Dad. I just need some time right now. Thanks for giving it to me." With that, Audrey set off into the cool autumn air. John was sound asleep in the stroller as Audrey pushed him leisurely toward the park.

It was about a ten minute walk to the park. Audrey loved it there. There was a jogging path around the circumference and lots of shade trees and grassy areas and benches to sit on and enjoy the well manicured gardens. She pushed John along the jogging path for a while until she found the secluded spot where she often went when she wanted to be alone. She sat on the wrought iron bench near the goldfish pond where she could watch the fish glide through the water in bright orange flashes.

Today instead of watching the fish, she pulled from her pocket the envelope that Bill had given her. She looked at the front. There, written in Jack's scratchy script, it said simply "Audrey." She looked at it for a long time before opening it and removing the single, handwritten page inside.

_My dearest Audrey,_

_That you are reading this letter means that my mission was a success and that, unfortunately, I am not coming home to you, or at least not in this life. Please know, my love, that the last thoughts through my mind were of you and John. I love you both more than I can possibly express on paper. My one regret in accepting this mission, is that I will never get the chance to watch our son grow into a fine man. But, in truth, I wouldn't have been able to do that anyway. Living with that fact, that my son would grow up without me and that I would grow old without him or you, was far worse than dying. Maybe that's why I asked to undertake this mission in the first place. Sometimes dying is far easier than living._

_Having said that, I understand that I have left you behind with the difficult job of living and being both mother and father to our son. The latter is a nearly impossible task, Audrey. It is my greatest hope that you will find a new love, a man who will love John like a father and will be there for him as I cannot. I want you to be happy. I want you to love and laugh and to create a happy home for yourself and for John. Don't grieve for me, Audrey. Be happy that we were lucky enough to be soul mates if only for a brief time. When you think of me I want you to smile and to laugh at some happy moment that we shared. Life is too short to waste grieving for what might have been. Live every moment fully and instill the same desire in John._

_I love you with all of my heart,_

_Jack_

Audrey read the letter twice before refolding it, returning it to its envelope and tucking it carefully into her bag. She looked into the stroller where John slept peacefully not knowing that life, at least as his mother knew it, had changed irrevocably in the last few hours. As much as she didn't want to disturb him, Audrey felt a strong need to hold her son, her lifeline to Jack. She carefully lifted him from the stroller and except for a slight startle reaction when she first slipped her hands underneath him, John didn't seem to mind the move from the stroller to Audrey's arms.

The warm afternoon sun shone on John's precious face and Audrey tilted his little baseball cap to shade his eyes. Audrey gazed upon the baby waiting for the onslaught of tears that she thought would come after reading the letter. But it didn't. Instead she seemed to be blanketed by a strange calm. It was over. She didn't have to worry about Jack anymore. She didn't have to wonder where he was or what he was doing or what kind of danger he was in or if he was happy. It was over. Strangely, it was a relief. Of course, she wished that he wasn't dead; she wished that he was sitting next to her watching John sleep and that they would live to celebrate years of happiness together. But that wasn't to be. That was never to be and she had known that from the moment he came back into her life for that brief interlude.

Audrey sat with John on the bench for an hour or so before she laid him gently back into the stroller. She tucked the blanket back around him and, for at least the millionth time since he was born, marveled that, in a moment of passion, she and Jack could have created such a perfect little person.

Audrey looked up at the bright sky. The sun filtered through the multi-colored autumn leaves. At that moment, a soft gust of wind sent leaves swirling madly. The air touched her face as gently as one of Jack's kisses. He was there with her and she could feel him everywhere. Just as abruptly the wind was gone, just like Jack.

Audrey looked all around her as if she would see him and then smiled. "Thanks, Jack," she said to the air. "Thank you for everything."

_I always write happy endings, but somehow this ending, with Jack as the tragic figure, seemed to fit perfectly. I hope to have a second ending out by next week, but the outline for it is still really sketchy and I'm not sure how much time I'll have to write. So bear with me. I'll get another chapter to you as soon as I can!_

_In the meantime, I'm dying to know what you think. Please, please, please review._


	4. Chapter 4

_Sorry it took me so long to get this posted. I haven't had a lot of time to write AND it's a 10,000+ word chapter! This was a really hard chapter to write and I struggled with the emotions. I've been thinking about it for a long time and I thought it would just flow when I sat down to write it, but it didn't. I'm still not totally satisfied with it but have played with it for so long now that I don't know what else to do with it. So I finally just decided to post it. You can tell me what is wrong or right with it._

_So, as always, thanks for sticking with me. I have one more ending to write, but for now, read this one and let me know what you think._

Alternate Ending 2

"Dad, I asked you where Jack is," Audrey said frantically.

"Calm down, Sweetheart," Jim Heller said placing his hands firmly on his daughter's shoulders. "Jack is fine. He'll be back here in a couple of hours."

Audrey's face lit up. "It's over? He's coming back! Really? Dad, I can't believe this. How did you do it?" she asked as she hugged her father.

"I didn't do anything, Audrey. It was all Jack. He was amazing. Before Jack got there, Bill Buchanan and Mike Novick and I addressed the President. When we finished, he pretty much told us that although he considered Jack a hero, he didn't think there was any way to square this with the Chinese. He didn't want to turn Jack over to the Chinese, but he felt that having him disappear again was the best thing for everyone.

"Then Jack came in. He sat down and very calmly started to tell his side of the story. He didn't give any opinions; he just laid out the facts. It was perfect. He has such a humble presence that Gardner couldn't help but be impressed. He was so matter-of-fact that you would have thought that he was describing a trip to the grocery store instead of a commando raid.

"Well, by the time he was finished, he had Hal Gardner eating out of the palm of his hand. I've never seen anything like it. Gardner is a crusty old son of a bitch and Jack made him look like a lap dog. You should have been there!"

"What are they going to do about the Chinese?" Audrey asked enthralled by the tale and wanting to hear every detail.

"Basically, they'll make Charles Logan take the fall. At the moment that seems appropriate. David Palmer gave Jack the order to go into the embassy, but he was working under the direction of Logan. The problem was that Logan couldn't make a decision, so David made it for him. No one, including Logan's lawyer, could see the point in dragging David Palmer's name through the mud; Palmer did what was right for the country at the time. President Gardner thinks he can get the Chinese to agree that Logan stepping down and being prosecuted for crimes against the US today is enough punishment. He'll threaten to take away their most favored nation status if they don't agree."

"So where's Jack now?" Audrey asked.

"He had about a ream of paperwork to go through with the Attorney General in order to basically get his name back and to clear him of any wrong doing. He said he'll call you if he gets a few minutes."

Audrey was all smiles. "I can't believe this is happening! It's so incredible. I was afraid that I'd never see Jack again." She paused for a second to let everything sink in. "Dad, after all that's happened, Jack and I really need some time to work things out. Is there any chance that I can take a few days off before I have to get back to Washington?"

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, that would be nice, but you won't be able to do it for a while. Jack needs to head to DC tomorrow morning. The Palmer family asked him to escort David's children throughout the viewing and funeral."

"Isn't that usually done by the military?" Audrey asked.

"Normally, but the family can certainly request anyone they want. Jack's retired from the Army Reserve. They're fitting him with a uniform tonight so he'll be in uniform when he gets off the plane with the Palmer family tomorrow.

"Maybe once the funeral is over we can have some time to ourselves. If I can take some time off we can go away for a few days," Audrey suggested.

Her father made a motion of indifference and turned away from her.

"What's wrong, Dad? I thought you were happy that Jack's name was cleared."

"I am, Audrey. I just think you need to be careful about your relationship with Jack. You've been apart for 18 months and you are both very different people than when you last saw each other. I think you should give this some time before you start making plans for the future. Get to know one another again. There's no rush. You have all the time in the world."

"Dad, we love each other. What's there to think about?"

"Do you really love Jack Bauer or do you love some hero image that you have created in the last year and a half? All I'm saying, Audrey is that you need to make sure that you haven't idealized your relationship while you thought Jack was dead."

"We know how we feel about each other. We've been together for the last couple of days. I don't ever want to be without him again."

"Sweetheart, you and Jack have been together in extraordinary circumstances. That's different than being together on a day to day basis," he explained. His tone softened a bit as he touched his daughter's hand. "I'm sure that you love each other, but that's not always enough. All I'm asking is that you give it some time and make sure this is what you really want before you commit to one another,"

Audrey nodded as if she agreed. She wasn't sure what her father's reservations were but, at least for now, it was easier to agree with him than to argue. There was no point in telling him that her mind had been made up for hours and that she could possibly already be carrying Jack's child.

Jim Heller's phone rang interrupting Audrey's thoughts. Jim answered and spoke for a few minutes before disconnecting. "That was my assistant. Jack is finished with all of the paperwork. He's with the tailor right now getting fitted for a uniform. Once that's finished they'll head back here. You can expect him within the hour," he reported.

Audrey was practically jumping out of her skin with excitement. "I have to go shower. I don't want Jack to see me this way." She had suddenly realized how disheveled she looked and it wouldn't do to have the man she loved see her looking like a wreck. "Oh, no!" she cried. "All of my luggage is still at the presidential retreat." Audrey had been traveling with the president prior to the terrorist attack so she had been staying in a guest house at the retreat. "I have nothing to wear except the suit I was wearing when I got to CTU two days ago. I don't even have anything to wear back to Washington tomorrow."

"Don't worry about it, honey. I'll call my assistant and have her get your things together and send them back here with Jack," Jim told her.

Audrey thanked him, gave him a peck on the cheek and trotted off to the bathroom to make herself look and feel human again. Jim pulled out his phone to call his assistant. As he did so, he watched his daughter practically dancing toward the bathroom with a combination of amusement and concern.

When he first learned 18 months earlier that Jack and Audrey were seeing each other, he was surprised. Their personalities were very different. Jack was private. Even those who knew him, really knew only what he was willing to let them see. Audrey on the other hand was an open book. She was bubbly and vivacious and you could know Audrey for a day and know her life history, what had shaped her life and what her core beliefs were. The old saying "still waters run deep" fit Jack to a tee. Of course, Jim knew from experience that opposites attract, but that same experience also told him that while they attract, it often didn't last. He knew that when Audrey began to see deep into Jack during the last terrorist attack, that she didn't like what she saw. During the ensuing 18 months while she believed that he was dead, she was able to soften and rationalize and justify all she had seen. She had come to the point where she believed that she could live with all of that if she could just have Jack back again. Now that she knew he was alive, she had forgotten those things that she didn't like about Jack. He was her hero and heroes are easy to love. Jim just hoped that he was wrong; that this wasn't idol worship, but rather a truly deep and loving relationship between two people who he loved and wanted to see happy.

Jim wasn't surprised that his daughter felt the way she did. What really surprised him was that in his brief discussion with Jack at the presidential retreat earlier in the day, that Jack, too was professing his love for Audrey. Once Jack knew that his name would be cleared, he basically asked Jim for permission to marry Audrey. Jim had reluctantly told him that whatever the two of them wanted was fine with him, but he had expressed the same concerns that he expressed to Audrey. In both cases Jim knew his cautions fell on deaf ears.

Jim shook his head to clear his thoughts as he crossed the room to the minibar. Jack and Audrey needed to sort this out themselves and he needed to stay out of it. He was in the process of pouring a scotch and water when Jack knocked on the suite door.

"Are you ready to celebrate your freedom?" Jim asked as he handed Jack the drink he had poured for himself.

Jack set down Audrey's luggage that he brought with him from the retreat. "Only if you plan to join me," Jack said taking the proffered drink. Jack had a big, warm smile on his face. He was happier at that moment than Jim had ever seen him before. He watched while Jim poured a second drink. "Where's Audrey?" he asked.

"In the shower. She should be out in a few minutes," Jim said raising his glass to toast Jack's new found freedom.

Jack returned the gesture. "Let me put Audrey's bags in the bedroom," he said setting down the drink. As he returned from the bedroom, Jack picked up the room service menu. "Are you hungry? I'm starved. I wonder if Audrey has eaten," he mused while he read the menu.

"I'm sure Audrey hasn't had a thing to eat all day. She was too worried about you."

"Good, then the three of us can order some dinner and celebrate. We'll get a bottle of champagne."

Jim smiled and shook his head. "According to the old saying, Jack, 'three's a crowd.' I'll head up to my suite and leave you and Audrey to celebrate."

Jack smiled and looked embarrassed. Jim Heller was an old fashioned kind of guy. Jack knew that the idea that he and Audrey were sharing a bed without the benefit of marriage or at least a solid commitment such as engagement was against his belief system. "Look, Jim," Jack started, "I know you don't approve …"

"Of you bedding my daughter," Jim finished crassly, but without any anger in his tone. "You're right. I don't approve. I told you earlier, Jack, I think you two are in way over your heads. I think you need to step back and make sure this is really right for both of you before you muddy the waters with sex. But I don't really have any control over that. You're both adults. You can decide what's right for you." Jim extended his hand to Jack. "I just want what's best for both of you," he said. Then he surprised Jack by hugging him. "I'll see you and Audrey in the morning. My security detail will pick us up at 6 o'clock to take us to the airport."

Jack walked to the door with Jim Heller and watched him walk down the hall. He wasn't sure why Jim was so concerned about his relationship with Audrey, but then again, he didn't really want to spend any time thinking about it. What he really wanted was to eat dinner and share a bottle of champagne with Audrey and then make love to her all night. He was getting excited just considering the possibilities when Audrey stepped out of the bedroom. She was dressed in a pair of lounge pants and a tight fitting camisole. If he thought he was excited before, it was nothing compared to how he felt when he saw her.

"Oh, Jack!" Audrey exclaimed as she jumped into his arms. "I'm so happy. I love you so much."

"I love you, too, baby," Jack whispered in return. They held each other for a long time before Jack's stomach audibly growling made them both laugh and pull away. "I think I'm hungry," he said.

"Me, too. I haven't eaten since this morning. What's on the menu?"

They quickly perused the menu and made their choices. Jack picked up the phone to call room service. "Did you want champagne or a bottle of wine," Jack asked her before dialing.

Audrey was just about to tell him that she wanted wine, when she remembered that she might actually be pregnant and that alcohol was probably not a good idea. "Neither. My stomach is a little upset from all the worrying I did today," she lied. "I'm not sure that alcohol is such a good idea right now. Ginger ale would be fine."

Jack shrugged slightly and placed the dinner order. He ordered ginger ale for Audrey and a glass of cabernet for himself. After he hung up, he put his arms around Audrey. "It's a shame that you already showered, I think I'll shower while we're waiting for dinner and you could have joined me," he hissed while he kissed her neck.

Audrey pushed him away playfully as if insulted by his suggestion. "You go take a shower. I'll just wait for room service, but I'm warning you, if you're still in the shower when the food gets here, all bets are off. I'm so hungry that I might just eat your dinner and mine," she teased.

"If I'm in the shower alone, it's not going to take me very long," he said in return as he kissed the tip of her nose.

As Jack closed the bathroom door, Audrey realized that she was facing the first real dilemma of their relationship. When she made the decision the previous night to make love knowing that she could become pregnant, she thought she would never see Jack again. Now that he was back, she wasn't quite sure what to tell him. This was a development that she hadn't counted on. He obviously expected that they would make love again. How would he feel about a baby? Should she just let the evening play out and worry about the consequences later? In a few weeks, if it turned out that she really was pregnant, she could tell him that it was an accident. If she wasn't pregnant, then he would never be the wiser. Although it was the easiest route, deceiving Jack just didn't seem to be the best way to start their life together. No, it would be better to tell him the truth now and face his possible anger.

They ate dinner at the small table in the corner of the suite while they chatted and laughed and just enjoyed being together. When they finished, Jack reached for Audrey's hand. He lifted it to his lips and kissed it gently as he stood up.

"Come here," he whispered.

Audrey stood and moved toward him. Jack gathered her into his arms. "You know," he hissed seductively into her ear, "now that we've eaten, maybe we can do something more interesting." He allowed his lips to graze her neck and she groaned involuntarily.

"Ah, Jack," was about all Audrey could muster at the moment.

"Let's take this to the bedroom," Jack suggested in the same sexy voice. He took a step toward the bedroom door drawing Audrey with him, but she hesitated. "What's wrong?" he asked her.

"We need to talk, Jack."

"That sounds serious," he said as a look of concern washed over his face.

Audrey took Jack's hand and led him to the sofa. She wasn't quite sure how to begin. "Last night when you asked me about birth control…"

"And you said that it was okay."

"Jack, try and understand that I never thought I was going to see you again. I wanted to have a part of you that no one else could have."

"What are you trying to say, Audrey?"

"I'm trying to say that last night was probably not a good night for us to have unprotected sex unless our goal was to conceive," Audrey explained sheepishly.

Jack squinted trying to understand. "Are you trying to tell me that last night you might have become pregnant?"

Audrey bit her lower lip and nodded. "Yes. I'm sorry, Jack. Now I can look at it and I know that lying to you was wrong, but at the time all I could think about was having your child."

"So what are you thinking now?" Jack asked. "What if you're pregnant?"

Audrey couldn't help but smile. "I'll be very happy."

"Really? I never got the impression that you wanted children. You were always so focused on your career."

"I never thought about having a family until I thought you were dead. I guess I started to understand what was important in life," she told him. "I guess the real question is: How would you feel about it?"

"Do you have to ask? You know how much family means to me. I'd love for us to have a child together. I would have liked it if you would have included me in the decision, but given the circumstances, I understand completely. I love you so much," Jack whispered. "The idea that you wanted to have a part of me even if I never came back is incredibly beautiful, Audrey. You can't imagine how much that means to me, sweetheart." Jack pulled Audrey into a series of long, slow kisses.

"I take it that means you aren't angry," Audrey said during a break in the kisses.

"Not at all," he returned. "But now we have to decide if we're going to go into the bedroom and give ourselves an even better chance to become parents."

"Oh, Jack, I want that more than anything in the world," Audrey told him sincerely.

"Good, then let's do it."

They made their way into the bedroom where they spent the next several hours making slow, passionate love. They weren't in a hurry for they knew that they had the rest of their lives. The fear that they both felt the night before was gone. There was no urgency anymore.

The love they shared that night would have to hold them for a while, because the next week was physically and emotionally grueling for Jack. After little sleep, Jack and Audrey left the Hilton and boarded Air Force One for the flight back to Washington. Once in Washington, Jack spent the next three days with the Palmer family. He escorted Nicole and Keith Palmer through all of the ceremonies and services during the day and stayed at David Palmer's Maryland estate outside of Washington at night.

Less than 24 hours after David Palmer's funeral, Jack boarded a plane back to the west coast for the painful process of saying goodbye to Tony and Michelle. He had been asked to eulogize his best friends, but declined. He could hardly say their names aloud without breaking down let alone stand in front of a crowd and talk about them. He agreed to be a pallbearer, but nothing more. The weight of their deaths, his implied responsibility for their murders, lay like a yoke on his shoulders.

It was with that depth of emotion that Jack reluctantly stepped onto the plane wishing with all of his heart that Audrey could be with him. She had been working an insane number of hours, as had everyone at DoD, in the wake of the terrorist attack and couldn't get the time off to go to California.

When Jack and Audrey came east on Air Force One, he told himself that he was starting a new life. The first forty years in California would be relegated to some corner of his mind that he didn't plan to visit very often. Those forty years included a difficult childhood and the murder of his wife and now the loss of his best friends and, the ultimate insult, desertion by his daughter. Those were all things he planned to forget as he built his new life on the east coast with Audrey and possibly their child. This trip would be difficult, filled with reminders of all of those things. But, mercifully the trip would be quick (he was flying back to DC just hours after the funeral). He would get through it as best he could and return to Audrey and the warmth of their love.

In Washington, Audrey anxiously awaited Jack's return. They spoke on the phone, but that wasn't enough for her. After their 18 month separation, she needed to be with him. She occasionally rubbed her belly wondering if they had actually conceived. She would know for sure in another week, but, at the moment, that seemed like a million years away.

As emotional as his days in Los Angeles were, Jack also found them somewhat cathartic. He learned that neither the Dessler nor Almeida families held him responsible for Tony's or Michelle's deaths and Jack was humbled by their kindness to him. He saw Kim at the funeral and they talked for a little while. The outcome wasn't entirely what Jack wanted, but at least they were on speaking terms by the time Jack had to leave for the airport. Kim gave him a quick hug and kiss before he left. She said that she was happy that he was starting a new life with Audrey and she hoped that it worked out for the best.

Jack returned to Washington and moved into Audrey's townhouse where the two began to settle into a domestic routine. Jack was an early riser and often went running just after the sun rose. By the time he got home, Audrey was stirring and Jack made the coffee. He took her first cup up to the bedroom and they sat on the bed drinking coffee until Audrey finally dragged herself out of the warm bed.

It was a Saturday morning, a week or so after Jack returned from California and the brisk Washington morning was perfect for running. Jack slowed his pace as he approached Audrey's townhouse and walked up the steps to the porch. He opened the door and could smell the coffee as soon as he stepped inside. Audrey stood barefoot in the kitchen pouring the coffee into mugs.

"What are you doing up so early?" he asked, surprised and a little disappointed to see Audrey out of bed. He was kind of hoping to take a quick shower and tumble back into bed with her. They had nothing planned and Jack could think of nothing nicer than to spend the day holed up under the covers with her.

Audrey looked down at the kitchen counter as if stirring cream into her coffee was a detail that required her utmost attention. "I've got cramps. They woke me up. I had to get out of bed to take something for it."

"Cramps?"

"Yes," Audrey said with an edge in her voice. "Cramps. You know, menstrual cramps. I got my period." She finally looked up at him. Her tone softened considerably. "I guess I'm not pregnant," she whispered as tears filled her eyes.

"Come here," Jack said gently as he pulled her into his arms. "It's okay. We can try again." He held her a few inches away so he could look into her eyes. "Think about it. 'Trying' is half of the fun," he said with a smile.

Audrey smiled back and nodded. "I know. You're right. I guess I just had my heart set on this. I wanted it so much."

"I know," Jack replied. "But we're together and that's the important part. Everything else will work itself out." Jack kissed the tip of Audrey's nose and then pulled away to retrieve his coffee from the counter. "You know," he said with his back to her. "Maybe this is a blessing in disguise."

"How so?" Audrey asked.

Jack turned to face her. He suspected that she wasn't going to be thrilled to hear what he had to say. "Maybe we should get ourselves really settled in before we start our family. I don't have a job yet. Once I get that, we'll make more decisions about where we want to live. We definitely need a bigger house if we're having kids. There's a lot to think about."

"How long did you want to wait?"

"I don't know. I'm thinking at least a few months, maybe a year. Let's not put this on a time line. Let's just play it by ear. We'll know when the time's right."

"Maybe you're right," Audrey agreed with a sullen nod that Jack was pretty sure meant that she was just agreeing to placate him. "I'm going to go get dressed," Audrey said as she took her coffee mug and silently climbed the stairs.

Jack's first instinct was to follow her and try to explain his position, but he thought better of it and let her go alone. She was acting on emotion and trying to talk sense to her was simply a waste of energy. Jack picked up the morning paper and carried it to the kitchen table. He sighed as he set down his mug and opened the paper. It was going to be a long quiet Saturday.

That Monday morning Jack started his job hunt in earnest. He had a number of contacts from his years in law enforcement and with the military and he called several of them to see what positions might be available to him. As he expected, he had lined up a number of interviews over the next couple of weeks. He excitedly laid out his schedule for Audrey over dinner.

"Let's see," he said referring to a legal pad perched on the edge of the table. "I'm talking to Fred Acuff from the Secret Service counterfeiting division on Wednesday and Don Schultz at the FBI on Friday. Next week, I'm meeting with Colonel Wyatt about a training position for Special Forces. Tom O'Reilly from NSA wants to talk to me but he doesn't have any time this week or next. We'll probably meet the following week." Jack was clearly excited about the prospects.

"My father wants you come back and work for him. Why won't you consider it?" Audrey asked.

"Audrey, we've been through this before. I don't think it's a good idea for me to work for your father while we are involved in a relationship."

"That didn't bother you a couple of years ago," she pointed out.

"That was different. When he hired me, we weren't a couple. Even after we started dating, your father didn't know about it. Now that he knows, I think it would be awkward. Besides, I don't think that it's best for us to work together all day and come home and be together all night. We each need our own identities."

Audrey continued to argue, but Jack would not be swayed. He continued to get in touch with old contacts and to set up interviews despite Audrey's desire to have him working with her father again.

For the next four weeks Jack went from one interview to another, with many of them followed up by second and third interviews. It seemed that the possibilities were endless and Jack was excited by the new and different challenges that each position brought with it. Job offers started piling up and he started to weigh out the pros and cons. Audrey found the whole process tiresome, although Jack's enthusiasm amused her. She had never seen him like this. He was almost childlike, but nonetheless, she just wished he would make a decision so they could move on with their lives. His job search had become all consuming.

Audrey sat at her desk completely immersed in a position statement that she needed to go over prior to a presentation that her father was giving to the Cabinet later in the week when her phone rang. "Audrey Raines," she said absently as she continued to read.

"Hey," Jack said softly. "How's your day?"

Audrey stopped reading surprised that Jack was calling. He rarely interrupted her at work. "It's fine. How's yours?"

"It's great. I just accepted a job."

"Really? Which one? I didn't think you'd made up your mind. You didn't tell me you were going to accept an offer today," Audrey said incredulously. They had discussed this decision endlessly and as far as she was concerned, Jack had not finalized his decision.

"I'm sorry, I should have discussed this with you first, but this just came up and it was a perfect fit. I had to make a quick decision, so I did it."

"What's the position? Who will you be working for?"

"Why don't we meet at D'Antonio's for dinner and I'll tell you all about it." Jack paused as he looked at his watch. "It's almost 4:30. Can you meet me there at 6:30?"

"I guess," Audrey said looking at the stack of work she wanted to complete before leaving. "That's going to rush me."

"Ok, make it 7 o'clock. Is that better?" Jack asked.

"That should be okay," Audrey said, but not convincingly. "I'm not really dressed for D'Antonio's and I won't have time to get home and change." The Georgetown restaurant was considered one of the most formal restaurants in Washington.

Jack ignored the doubt in her voice. "When you left home today you had a dark suit on. It's a Tuesday evening. I'm sure most people there will be dressed in business clothes. You'll look great. So, I'll see you at D'Antonio's at seven. They don't take reservations, so I'll get there early and get us a table."

"Alright, I'll see you then," Audrey said before they disconnected. She tried to go back to reading the policy statement but couldn't concentrate. Jack sounded so excited on the phone and she wished that she could match his excitement, but she couldn't. All she could think about was how much work sat on her desk and there was no way to finish it if she had to leave and go out to dinner. _Damn you, Jack,_ she thought. _Think about me once in a while. Not only did you accept a job without talking to me about it, but now you expect me to drop everything and meet you for dinner._ As soon as the thoughts crossed her mind, Audrey was upset with herself. She was acting like a spoiled child and she knew it. Jack was putting his life back together and he was excited about it, as he should be. And the truth was, that the final choice on the job had to belong to Jack. She had no right to interfere with that. Audrey sighed, unhappy with herself. _When am I going to grow up and learn how to make a relationship work?_ she wondered. She and Paul had failed and, as much as she wanted to blame him at the time, she knew that there was plenty of blame to go around. _No,_ she thought, _not again. I'm going to make it work this time. Jack and I have a future and I'm not going to screw it up._

Audrey met Jack a few hours later at the restaurant. As he promised, he arrived early and got a table. He was sipping a scotch and water when he saw the maitre d lead her into the dimly lit room to the left of the entrance.

Audrey saw him as well. She couldn't help but notice how handsome he looked in a dark blue suit. He smiled at her and stood to pull out her chair.

"Hi, Sweetheart," he said softly as they exchanged a quick kiss. "Did you get your work finished?"

"No, but it'll get done tomorrow," she said trying hard not to worry about it and knowing full well that she would have to work late the next day. She looked up at the waiter who was waiting patiently to take her drink order. "I'll have a gin and tonic with a twist of lime, please," she told him. The waiter nodded as stepped briskly away.

She took a sip of water and looked at Jack. "So, tell me about this job," she said sounding as excited as she could.

"I can't believe this position came up," Jack said expansively. Audrey wasn't sure when she last so him so animated. "Mike Golden called me this morning as asked if I could come over and meet with him."

"Wait a minute," Audrey said. "Mike Golden? Isn't he with the CIA?"

"Yeah, we were in the army together."

"You didn't interview with the CIA."

"I know, but Mike was talking to Colonel Wyatt. The Colonel told Mike that I was job hunting and Mike decided to call me."

"Jack, you aren't really going back to the CIA are you?" Audrey asked.

"Yes, Audrey, I am. This job was too good to pass up."

"How so? Let me guess, you just can't stand to go to work every day and never get shot at?" she asked sarcastically.

"Whoa! Whoa! This isn't field work. I'll be doing the planning. Somebody else is going to put their ass on the line this time. With all of my field experience, I'm the kind of person Mike was looking for. I know what works and what doesn't. Most of the guys who plan missions have never been on one. They don't understand what can go wrong. So basically, they'll give me the mission plan and I'll de-bug it and make it workable for the field agents. It's a safe job, Audrey and I'll be working out of Langley. That's less than a half hour from home. This is a win-win situation for us. I couldn't turn it down," Jack explained.

Audrey had to admit, that despite her early reservations, the job did sound perfect for Jack. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. When I heard 'CIA' I got a little worried that they'd be bringing you back to me in a box. It sounds like a great opportunity. I'm happy for you," she smiled and internally chastised herself for her earlier anger at him as she reached for his hand.

The wine steward approached their table carrying a bottle of champagne. "Your champagne, sir," he said as he showed the label to Jack.

Jack looked at the label and then at Audrey. "I hope you don't mind. I ordered the champagne before you got here so we wouldn't have to wait." The wine steward turned the bottle so Audrey could see the label.

She smiled and blushed again chastising herself for her earlier anger. "Jack, that's my favorite. Thank you!" She knew there were a couple of champagnes that Jack liked better, but instead he ordered her favorite.

The wine steward poured a small amount, allowed Jack to taste it and waited for him to give his approval before filling Audrey's glass and then topping off Jack's glass. He then put the bottle in an ice bucket and left.

Jack and Audrey raised their glasses and toasted silently. "This is quite a celebration for a new job," Audrey said after taking a moment to savor the feeling of the champagne in her mouth.

"Maybe we're celebrating more than just a new job," Jack suggested.

"Oh, really? What else are we celebrating?"

"Maybe we're celebrating because it's Tuesday."

"Well, that seems like a good reason," Audrey said with a smile as she rolled her eyes.

"Okay, maybe we're celebrating something else." Jack reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small box. "Maybe we're celebrating our engagement," he said as he opened the box.

Audrey gasped as Jack revealed the round diamond surrounded by sapphires and set in platinum. She couldn't bring herself to say anything as he slipped it on to her hand. Tears blurred her vision as Jack spoke.

"Audrey," Jack said softly. "Will you marry me?"

"Oh, Jack! I love you so much," she said through her tears. "Yes, of course!"

They kissed across the table and then looked around, giggling as they caught sight of some other diners staring at them. It didn't matter that others were staring. They were too happy and too in love to care. After so much pain in the past, everything was going perfectly and this evening had topped it off.

Their engagement now official, Jack and Audrey started making plans for the future. Wedding dates were considered as were honeymoon locations, new houses and numbers of children. The problem was that no decisions ever seemed to be made. Somehow other factors, such as work schedules, or disagreements kept getting in the way. Jack and Audrey both tended to be workaholics and both put in an excessive number of hours. On top of that, both of their positions often required travel and their time together became more and more limited.

Travel for Audrey usually amounted to a day or two here and there. Occasionally she would be overseas for a week with her father, but that was unusual. Jack, on the other hand, found that after planning a mission, the best way to ensure its success was to be on site. That meant long trips to the far corners of the world. For security reasons, Audrey rarely knew where he was off to or how long he would be gone. He could leave one day and surprise her by coming home the next or he might leave and be gone a for a couple of weeks.

Jack absolutely loved the job. It put him as close to field work as he could be without actually getting shot at. He had been in Korea and Afghanistan, the Russian republics and Indonesia. His group had successfully taken out a warlord who was threatening violence against the West, smuggled arms to rebel leaders, destroyed a terrorist training camp and eliminated caches of weapons that were on their way to enemy forces in various hot spots around the world. Each time Jack came home ready to tackle the next mission with a zeal that exceeded the mission before.

Any happiness or enthusiasm that Audrey might have felt about Jack's new job faded after the first couple of missions. That was all the longer it took for her to realize that she didn't like coming home to an empty house every night. Not that she spent much time at home, with her job almost always keeping her in the office from early morning until eight or nine at night. Still when she arrived home, she had become used to Jack being there and now he often wasn't. Once or twice while she was out of town on business, conditions would change on a mission that Jack was working on and he would have to leave town without warning. In those cases Audrey would either come home to a note of explanation or get a phone call or voice message to let her know that he would be gone "for a while".

Audrey received one such note upon her return from a trip to Russia with her father. The trip had been very successful and when she arrived home she was dying to share every detail with Jack. A note on the kitchen table explained that his group had intelligence that an important weapons cache was being moved and they had a chance to ambush it on its route. He said he would contact her when he could, and, of course, would be home as soon as possible. It finished with "I know this is a lousy welcome home for you Sweetheart, especially after such a long and important trip, but I have no choice. This has to be done. We both have chosen a path to serve our country and the greater good but sometimes I wonder if, in the process, we have sacrificed too much. I love you, Audrey."

Audrey read the note twice before tearing it to shreds and throwing it angrily in the trash. What was happening to them? What had they become? Where were the two people who wanted to raise a family together? Audrey suddenly remembered her attempt to become pregnant back in LA and cringed. It was the first and the last time that she tried to conceive; they hadn't even talked about a baby in several months. If she had conceived, their baby would be a couple of months old right now. _Look at the life you'd be providing for him_, she thought. _His parents would never be home and when they are, they're too tired to care about anything but sleeping and getting ready for the next day's work or the next mission. _

After a poor night's sleep, Audrey went to work the next morning planning to work herself to exhaustion. It was Friday and she knew that the office would be virtually empty by 6 o'clock and she would have the place to herself. She had plenty of work to do and could easily work 16 hours. Then she would drag herself home and collapse into bed so she wouldn't have to think about her personal life.

As usual, Audrey's schedule was full and the day went by quickly. She joined the rest of her father's staff in the conference room at 4 o'clock for a briefing on his Russia trip. Jim Heller was in a particularly good mood after the successful trip and the briefing was surprisingly short. Within 15 minutes he was finishing up.

"Before I finish, I just want to take the opportunity to thank every one of you. You all worked incredibly hard in order to make this trip a success. I'm sure many of you think that I don't notice how many hours you put in, but I do. So today," he said with a smile, "I am ordering everyone to pack up and go home. I want everyone out of here by 5 o'clock. That's not a suggestion, that's an order. Any work that you haven't gotten done by five will still be here Monday morning and you can do it then. Understood?" Jim paused for a moment and looked around to make sure his message had sunk in. "Good. In that case, good night and I'll see you all Monday morning." With that, Jim turned and exited the room.

The entire staff was smiling and moving toward their offices and desks to begin packing up for the day. Audrey settled back in her office and opened the file she had been working on. With everyone leaving early she would have even more quiet time to work through the evening. A knock on her door brought her back into the moment.

"Audrey, are you leaving soon?" asked Janice, one of the policy analysts that worked under Audrey's direction.

Audrey looked at her watch as if she cared what time it was. "I didn't realize that it was almost five. I'll be going in a little while," she lied.

"A bunch of us decided to go to happy hour and maybe a couple of clubs. Would you like to join us?"

"Sounds fun," Audrey told the woman who was two or three years her junior, "but I think I'm going to go home and crash. It's been a long week."

"I understand," Janice told her. "If you change you mind, call me. You've got my cell number."

"Yeah, I do," Audrey agreed. "Thanks for the invitation."

Audrey watched the younger woman leave and then returned to her work. The whole office was unbelievably quiet although Audrey could here her father in the next office. She was surprised when she heard him come out into the hallway and close his office door.

"Hey," he called into her office. "It's time to go. I said everyone out at 5 o'clock, no exceptions."

"You can make an exception for me, can't you," Audrey asked with a smile.

Jim Heller was dead serious. "No, Audrey. No exceptions for you either. You need to go home as much, and maybe more, than everyone else. No, shut down your computer, put away the files and go home. You need to spend some time with Jack. Go get some dinner together or see a movie or something."

"Well, that would be a little hard since Jack's on a mission and I don't know where in the world he is," Audrey said. The irritation in her voice was obvious.

"I didn't realize that he was away. When did he leave?"

"Monday. There was a note on the kitchen table when I got home yesterday."

"I'm sorry, Honey," Jim said. "Why don't you and I go out and get some dinner?"

"Thanks for the offer, Dad, but I don't think I'd be very good company right now."

Jim sat on the edge of Audrey's desk. "You two are having some problems aren't you?"

"Not really," Audrey said sarcastically. "You really can't have problems when you're never home together. When we're together, we're fine. It's just that we're never together. He's either working or on a mission."

"You work more than your fair share of hours, too, Audrey. You can't put this all on Jack's shoulders," Jim said in Jack's defense.

Audrey looked down like a chastised child. "I know," she said almost imperceptibly.

"You two need to decide where your priorities lie. If it's work, then that's okay as long as you both agree. But if that's the case, you'll never have a good relationship. You need to work this out before you go forward with a wedding," Jim told her as he nudged her engagement ring.

"Yeah, I know that," Audrey replied again in a barely audible voice. "I screwed up one marriage; I don't need to screw up another."

"I didn't say that," Jim said gently. "I didn't even mean to imply that. So home and get some rest, Audrey and decide what it is that you want out of life. Come on. Sitting here isn't getting out home any sooner. Let's go."

Audrey reluctantly followed her father out of the office and out of the building to the garage. He kissed her good bye and reminded her that he loved her before getting in his car. Jim waited until Audrey pulled out of her space and passed him before putting his car into gear and moving out behind her.

It was not even six o'clock when Audrey arrived home. She looked at the clock and wondered what she was going to do with herself. She started off by looking for something to eat for dinner. Since neither she nor Jack had been home all week, there was little in the house. Ice cream was about the most appealing thing she could find, so she settled down in front of the television with a big bowl of rocky road, a glass of cabernet and the remote control.

For the next three hours Audrey tried to find something to do. She channel surfed and tried to read and surfed the internet and paced the house from one end to the other. She couldn't settle down. All she could think about was what her father had said: _You two need to decide where your priorities lie. _Audrey didn't want to think about priorities. She was too hurt and too angry with Jack and too afraid that she was as much to blame as he was.

She finally gave up on any sort of relaxing evening and picked up her phone. Janice answered the phone in a noisy club.

"Hey, it's Audrey," she shouted so that Janice could hear her over the din. "Where are you guys? I thought I'd catch up with you and have a couple of drinks."

"That's great, Audrey. We're at Zanzibar. We were going to stay here for a while and then head over to the Boar's Head Tavern. We'll stay here until you get here."

"Great! I'll be there in half an hour," Audrey told her.

She quickly dressed in a short, stone colored skirt and a tight salmon pink tank top covered with a denim jacket. Then she touched up her make up and styled her hair to create a slightly messy, sexy look. Audrey checked her look in the mirror and smiled at the reflection. She liked what she saw.

Audrey trotted happily down the stairs and grabbed her bag. She was about to go through the door when she stopped for a second, pulled off her engagement ring and set it on a table near the door. With that, she was off to meet Janice and the other girls.

The Friday night crowd at the bar was thick and noisy and already well on its way to being drunk. As she stepped into the establishment, all Audrey could think about was losing herself in this crowd. She wanted to be one of them, a part of them. She wanted to forget Jack and what was happening at home and revel in the partying.

She stopped at the bar to get a drink and then looked around for her friends. She spotted Janice waving at her from a nearby table and made her way through the crowd nudging her way past several people as she went.

"Good timing," Janice told her. "We were going to have one more drink here and then head out."

"Fine with me," Audrey said agreeably taking a long drink from her gin and tonic.

As the other girls ordered their final drinks, Audrey ordered one, too, despite the fact that she had just started on the first one. The other women exchanged surprised glances. Audrey rarely went out with them, but when she did, she sipped white wine and made sure that someone else could drive her home before she ordered a second. She had always claimed a low tolerance for alcohol. It also didn't take Janice and the others long to notice that Audrey was no longer sporting the beautiful engagement ring that they had all admired a few months earlier. Most of them knew Jack from when he worked for the Secretary of Defense and they found the Audrey/Jack pairing to be odd at best.

The group of friends left the bar less than a half hour later. In the quiet of the street they discussed where they would go next.

"I thought we were going to the 'Boar's Head,'" Alexandra said.

"That place is too stuffy," Gina noted. "The crowd there is old."

"What's that place about a block down from the 'Boar's Head'?" Audrey asked. "You know, the one with the dance floor upstairs."

"Do you mean 'Riderwood Station'?" Janice asked.

"That's the one. They play great dance music," Audrey said.

"It'll be packed on a Friday night. You won't be able to breathe on the dance floor," Cindy said

"That's the fun of it. With any luck you run into someone cute," Audrey told them with a saucy lilt to her voice that made the other women exchange glances once again.

"I'm game," Janice said, feeling the need to please her boss.

Everyone else agreed and the group walked the three blocks to their destination.

It was about 11:30 when Jack's plane landed at a nearby air base. He said good night to his crew, found his car and headed south. He couldn't wait to get home and see Audrey. The mission had been a success and he was riding high. As he took the next entrance ramp onto the highway, Jack pulled out his cell phone and called Audrey. Her phone rang unnoticed inside of her purse drowned out by the music that blared across the dance floor at "Riderwood Station". Audrey had already had her fourth drink in less than 2 hours and was dancing with her friends and several junior partners from a DC law firm. For Audrey, the evening was going better than expected.

Jack was surprised that Audrey didn't answer her phone, but assumed that she had left it in her briefcase and had gone to bed early. He continued on toward home where he was again surprised to find that her car wasn't in its usual spot. Once inside, he could tell that she had been home and gone out again. An empty bowl with some melted ice cream and an empty wine glass sat on the table next to Audrey's favorite chair. In the bedroom, Audrey's work clothes lay, as if hastily discarded, on the bed. It appeared that Audrey left in a hurry. She was a neat freak and never left dirty dishes or clothes lying around.

Jack tried her cell phone again and, once again, got no answer. Despite the late hour, he decided to call Audrey's father to see if he knew where she was. Jim was also at a loss, but did remember that some of the girls were going out after work and he suspected that Audrey was with them. That seemed unusual to Jack, but he agreed that maybe Audrey didn't want to spend Friday evening alone and tagged along with the girls.

Trying hard not to worry about her, Jack showered and changed into lounge clothes and sat down in front of the television. He turned on a sports show to get the latest scores, but hadn't seen the highlights of more than one game went he fell asleep on the sofa.

Jack didn't know how long he had been sleeping when he was startled awake by a noise at the front door. He was instantly alert and had almost reached the door when it opened.

"Okay, Audrey, just one more step." Jack recognized the voice as belonging to Janice Hornsby.

"Janice?" he said as he reached for the door.

"Jack?" she said surprised to see him. "I thought you were away."

"Well, well, well," Audrey slurred as she caught sight of Jack. "Look what the cat dragged in."

Jack ignored Audrey's drunken attack. "I got back a couple of hours ago," he explained as he moved his eyes back to Janice after taking stock of Audrey. "What's going on?"

"She had a little too much to drink," Janice shrugged feeling very stupid and irresponsible. "I'm sorry. We should have slowed her down, I guess."

"I can take care of myself!" Audrey insisted. "It's not up to you to slow me down!"

Jack tried to diffuse the situation. "Thanks for bringing her home, Jan. Do you need a ride back to your place?"

"No, I drove Audrey's car and Cindy followed us. She'll take me home," she said. Janice held out the keys toward Jack but Audrey awkwardly swiped at them. In doing so she lost her balance and began to fall, but Jack was able to catch her.

"Those are my keys, not his!" Audrey said angrily as she tried to pull herself away from Jack.

"Sure, Audrey. Sorry," Janice said quietly. "I better get going?"

She set the keys on a table near the door next to Audrey's engagement ring. It was at that moment that Jack saw the ring and realized that it wasn't on Audrey's finger, but had been left behind when she went out. The symbolism of it cut him like a knife. He didn't think that any shot or punch or stab that he had ever received in the course of his work had ever hurt quite as much as seeing that ring so carelessly discarded by the door. He imagined Audrey rushing out of the house in the sexy outfit that she was wearing and hastily pulling the ring from her finger so no one would suspect that she was attached. She would just be another single girl in a bar on Friday night.

Jack closed the door behind Janice and turned to Audrey who was steadying herself against the wall. "Let me help you upstairs," Jack offered.

"I told you before, I can take care of myself," she said in a low angry voice.

"Fine," Jack said raising his hands in front of him in a gesture of defeat. He watched as Audrey walked an unsteady path to the stairs and then stumbled on the bottom step and fell into a heap on the stairs. Jack ran to her. "Let me help you up," he said gently as he drew her into a standing position. Audrey made no attempt to withdraw; she knew that she couldn't make the steps on her own.

Jack led Audrey up the stairs and into their bedroom where he sat her down on the bed. He turned his back and went to her dresser where he began rummaging through a drawer to find a night shirt for her.

"What are you doing?" Audrey asked as she tried to focus.

"Finding something for you to sleep in," he said as he returned to her side with a satin night shirt.

"Cute, Jack," she said sarcastically. "Let me guess. Now you're going to undress me and take advantage of the fact that I can't fight back."

Jack stared at her angrily. "If you think I'm turned on by your present condition, Audrey, you are completely wrong. A glass of wine makes you sexy; being drunk to the point that you can't stand on your own is disgusting. And as for taking advantage of you, the legal term for that is 'rape' and if you think I would stoop to that, then you don't know me very well."

Jack dropped the night shirt on the bed and started out of the room. "You can change clothes or you can sleep in what you're wearing. I really don't care."

He was about to exit the room when he saw Audrey's face turn ghostly pale. She covered her mouth with her hand, stood quickly and rushed unsteadily toward the bathroom. Jack caught up with her and eased her to the floor next to the toilet. He steadied her and held her hair away from her face while she noisily emptied the contents of her stomach. Even after her stomach was empty, she continued to wretch violently for several minutes. She finally settled down and Jack leaned her against the bath tub. She lay there with her face resting on the cool porcelain thinking that she would only feel better if she died right there.

Jack rinsed a wash cloth in cool water and began to wipe her face. He handed her a glass of water. "Here. Take a sip of this." Audrey did as she was told, sipping carefully from the glass. Once she kept down several sips of water, Jack helped her brush her teeth. A few minutes later, Audrey was sitting on the bed again and Jack was helping her undress and slip into the night shirt. He tucked her in bed and kissed her forehead like he would have done to his daughter twenty years earlier. Then he reached across her body and took his pillow from his side of the bed.

"Where are you going with that?" Audrey asked. Her voice seemed more sober than it had been just a little while earlier.

"I'll crash on the couch tonight," he said softly.

Even with her mind swimming in alcohol, the impact of that statement wasn't lost on Audrey. Despite their many differences, when they were both home at night, they cuddled tenderly in the middle of the bed. Jack was leaving her bed and her life and she wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

It was almost 1 o'clock the next afternoon before Audrey dragged herself out of bed and into the shower. She threw on a pair of blue jeans and a tee shirt, raked a comb through her wet hair and slowly descended the stairs. Her head was pounding and every step down seemed to shoot pain up through her neck and into her brain.

Jack was sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch and reading the newspaper. He didn't look up when Audrey came into the room.

"Morning," she said softly.

"Afternoon," he corrected in an equally soft voice.

Audrey looked down, embarrassed nearly to tears. "Jack, I'm sorry."

"You've got nothing to apologize to me for," he said with a vague shrug.

"Thanks for being here when I got home. I don't know what I would have done without you."

"You're welcome. By the way," he said casually as he stood up and reached into his pocket. "I thought you might be looking for this." Jack reached for Audrey's hand, turned it palm-side up and pressed her engagement ring into it. He closed her hand around it for effect. "But then again, maybe you weren't looking for it," he said as he turned and stepped away.

Audrey wished desperately that a hole would open up in the kitchen floor and swallow her. She didn't think that she had ever been that embarrassed before. "Jack, let me explain," she said as she followed him into the next room.

"There's nothing to explain, Audrey. You were going out with the girls on a Friday night and there were potentially a lot of hot guys who weren't going to pay any attention to a girl in an engagement ring."

"Jack, it wasn't exactly like that. I was angry and upset…"

"Don't bother trying to explain, Audrey," his tone was calmer now. "I just wish that you would have come to me and told me. If you want out, all you have to do is say so. "

"Damn it, Jack! I don't know if I want out. I don't know what I want. Why do I have to love you so damn much?" Audrey covered her face with her hand. If she thought her head was pounding before this confrontation, she now knew that it was nothing compared to the percussion section beating away on the inside of her skull at the moment. "We're just not good for each other. No matter how much we try or how much we love one another. We're not right for each other, are we?"

"No," Jack said simply. "I love you, Audrey, but I guess deep down, I've known for a while now that this wasn't going to work. I wish it would, but I don't think there's any way it can." Jack pulled her into his arms. "I'm sorry. It's my fault."

"No, it isn't, Jack. I'm not sure that it's anyone's fault. We're just not right for each other. My father tried to tell me that when we first got back together. I just wouldn't listen."

Jack smiled. "He tried to tell me the same thing. I guess I wasn't listening either."

"So what do we do now?"

"It might take me a few days, but I'll find a place to live. If you want me out right away, I can go to a hotel," he offered.

"Oh, no, that's not necessary. Take your time and find a place that you like."

"Thanks. In the meantime, I'll move out of your bedroom and use the guest room."

Audrey nodded silently. Her world was falling apart around her and she didn't know how to stop it. In point of fact, she wasn't sure that she wanted to stop it. As painful as this was, it had to happen.

Jack kissed Audrey's forehead and started out of the room.

"Jack," she called quietly after him. "More than anything in the world, I want you to be happy."

"Thank you," Jack replied. "I feel the same way about you. I wish you every happiness in the world."

"Thanks," Audrey whispered as she watched Jack go.

She would miss him. For over a year now she had built her world around him. She would never forget it, any of it: the smiles and the laughter, the tears and the sadness, vacations on the beach and walking in the rain. It was all a part of her now but she would tuck those memories away and make room for new ones.

_I know, I know, you wanted a happy ending, but I just couldn't do it. It was too easy, after starting the chapter with Jack coming back to her, they just couldn't end up together. So I'm hoping against hope after giving you two sad endings that you might hold out a glimmer of hope for happiness and read the third ending. _


	5. Chapter 5

_Okay, here it is, the final ending. I still think the first ending is my favorite, but I really like this one, too. If you read Ending 2 and haven't yet read Agent Rez's sequel to it called "More Comfortable in Hell", you really ought to. It picks up where I left off and it really is a wonderful story. Thanks, Agent Rez for improving upon my chapter. _

_So, check out Ending 3 and let me know what you think. (That's a weakly disguised code for: REVIEW THIS CHAPTER, PLEASE!)_

Ending 3

"Where's Jack?" Audrey asked again. "Please, Dad, I have to know. I need to know that he's alright."

"Jack's fine. He's safe. You don't have to worry about him," Jim said reassuringly.

Jim Heller didn't look his daughter in the eye as he spoke. There was more that he wasn't telling her and Audrey knew it.

"So if he's alight, where is he?" she asked, not 100 percent sure she wanted to know the answer.

"This is complicated, Audrey," Jim Heller answered cryptically. He took her arm and led her to the sofa. "Let's sit down."

Audrey was suddenly scared. She had no idea what her father was going to say, but his behavior was ominous. She numbly followed his directions. She sat down unable to fight him or to question him any further. She watched while he slowly, deliberately went to the minibar and poured himself a scotch and water. He was wasting time. Whatever was coming next, he quite obviously didn't want to tell her.

"Do you want a drink?" he asked Audrey.

She shook her head silently. In truth, she really did want a drink; she wanted a strong drink, something that would dull her senses and slow her heart rate and calm her down, but she decided against it considering that she might be pregnant.

Jim Heller took his time mixing his drink before he came back and sat on the sofa next to Audrey. "Jack is being put into a sort of 'protective custody' program."

"Protective custody? You mean like a criminal that has information and the government is trying to keep him alive so he can testify?"

"Not quite. The government has a program for agents, like Jack, whose positions with the government have resulted in them being a target for another government or a terrorist group. Sometimes it is because of the information that the agent knows or, as in Jack's case, a mission that wasn't really legal that went awry and the agent is at risk for retaliation."

"You mean there's an actual program to hide agents like Jack?" Audrey asked incredulously. "How many of them are there?"

"I don't know the number, but I get the impression that there are at least a half dozen or so across the country."

"So, Jack has to disappear again," Audrey said with obvious disappointment in her voice.

"Yes and no. He'll disappear, but, unlike the last time when he was on his own, this time the government will help him. The government will give him a new identity and a job and will relocate him. He'll continue working for the CIA and have regular contact with the CIA."

"Will he be working in the field? Doing undercover work?"

"No, actually, they can't risk using him in the field for fear that he would be recognized. Jack is too well known in that capacity to risk someone figuring out who he is. He'll be working in intelligence gathering and foreign and domestic threat assessments. They'll use his field skills to help in planning missions. No one will be shooting at him, if that's what you're asking. He'll be very safe," Jim told her.

"Do you know where he'll be living?"

Jim shook his head. "No, I won't. I said goodbye to Jack at the presidential retreat and I suspect that I'll never see him again."

"Is there any way to contact him?"

"Again, the answer to that is 'yes and no'. His contact with the government will be through Bill Buchanan. Bill is already managing three other agents in similar situations. If someone were to need to make contact with Jack, they'd go through Buchanan. He makes the final decision as to how best to manage the situation."

"I just spoke to Bill fifteen minutes before you got here and he didn't tell me any of this," Audrey said shaking her head as if she didn't believe her father.

"Bill probably didn't know yet. When I left the presidential retreat, the whole deal was still being finalized. They didn't need any more input from me, so I spent a few minutes alone with Jack to say good bye and then I left. Mike Novick was going to call Bill as soon as they got the Attorney General and the head of the CIA on conference call and hashed out the details."

"What will they tell Jack's daughter?"

"Exactly what I told you. Jack is safe and he'll be taken care of. If she needs to contact him, she needs to call Bill Buchanan and he will make the final decision on a safe way to contact Jack."

"Will she be able to see him?"

"My understanding is that the way she acted at CTU, she doesn't want to see him. But if she ever changed her mind, that would be Buchanan's call. I suspect that he will say 'no'. The only way that she, or anyone else, can see him is to become part of the program. She would have to give up her identity and disappear in order to go with him. If she had a good reason to want to do that, then, again, Bill would make the final decision and set it up. If she decided to go through with it, the decision would be final. If they had a falling out in a few years, she couldn't leave and go back to her old life. The government would be forced to take steps to protect Jack and the other agents in the program."

"Take steps? Like what?"

"Whatever they would have to do," Jim said as gently as possible. "The whole purpose of this program is to protect agents who, through no fault of their own, have become targets for enemies and fanatics. The government wants to offer them as normal a life as possible under the circumstances. They won't risk anyone messing that up."

Audrey nodded and walked toward the window. She held back the curtain and looked out at Los Angeles in the dark. Street lights and lights in windows glittered like stars. She wondered where Jack would go and if he would be happy.

"What if I wanted to go with Jack? Would that be possible?" she asked her father without looking at him.

Jim looked down at the floor. This was the question he was dreading. He knew that Audrey would eventually ask it but hadn't expected it quite this soon. He reached into his pocket and withdrew an envelope. "This is from Jack," he said as he handed it to her. "I think it will answer your question."

Audrey took the envelope in a trembling hand. She fought to calm her nerves and to still her hands enough to remove the letter from its confines. Once out of the envelope, Audrey unfolded the sheet of paper and stared at Jack's tight, block printing. Even his handwriting had an edge to it, a tension that simply was part of his being. Audrey held the page out to her father.

"Read it to me," she ordered him quietly.

"Audrey, that letter is personal. You need to read it yourself," Jim protested.

"I can't, Dad. I can't read it," Audrey sobbed. "Please read it to me," she begged.

Jim Heller took his reading glasses from his pocket and put them on. He closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath before beginning to read aloud.

_Dear Audrey,_

_Let me start this by saying that I love you with all of my heart. When I told you that I had never stopped loving you, not for a second, I meant it. It is with that love, however, that I have to ask you not to come with me. I know that sounds ridiculous, but if you think about it, it makes sense. In order to go with me, you would have to give up everything: your career, your friends, your identity and most importantly, your father. I can't let you do that. I'm not worth it, Audrey. I simply am not worth it. You have such a brilliant life and career ahead of you and there are so many people who love and care for you. To give that all up would serve no purpose; it would be a waste of your talent. _

_I thought when I deceived everyone that I love by staging my own death and disappearing that it was the hardest thing that I had ever done. But the truth is, that I think this may be even harder. I think that having my loved ones know that I am alive and that I can't contact them nor can they contact me, may be even harder. At least when you thought I was dead you could grieve and then go on with your life. Now, I fear, that you will always wonder where I am and what I am doing. I hate that you have to live through this, Audrey. In many ways, I wonder if it would have been easier if David Palmer had never warned me that I was in danger eighteen months ago and had allowed the Secret Service agent to kill me outright. I can't change the past, so I will simply have to live with it as best I can. _

_It is with a heavy heart, my darling, that I say goodbye to you for the last time. I wish you all of the happiness in the world. Don't waste time thinking about me or worrying about me. Go on and live your life. Achieve all that you desire. There is no ceiling, Audrey. I've told you before, the sky's the limit for you. I look forward to seeing you on the news some day as a newly elected senator or a presidential cabinet member. I know that's your goal and I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines all the way. _

_With my eternal love and constant devotion,_

_Jack_

Tears flowed in a steady stream down Audrey's face as her father read the letter to her, but it wasn't until he finished that she allowed herself to break down. Jim took Audrey in his arms and tried, with little success, to comfort her.

"Why didn't he talk to me first?" she sobbed. "I would have told him that none of those things matter. I love him so much. I don't care what I have to give up. I just want to be with him."

"Jack took this decision very seriously, Audrey. Believe me, it broke his heart to make this decision and write the letter."

"Did you try and talk him out of it? Did you tell him that I'd want to be with him?" she asked.

Her father was uncharacteristically silent. He looked away uncomfortably.

"Did you try and talk him out of it, Dad?" Audrey asked again. "Did you?"

"No, Audrey, I didn't," he finally answered and readied himself to face his daughter's wrath. "He made the decision and I made no attempt to get him to change his mind. I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I'm a father. I couldn't bear the thought of having you go with Jack and never seeing you again, never calling you on the phone and hearing your voice again. Honey, I couldn't do it. I love you too much."

Audrey pulled away her eyes blazing with anger. "That's so unfair, Dad! You were worried about how you'd feel, but you never considered how I'd feel to be left behind? How dare you!"

"Audrey, I told you that I'm sorry. You don't understand. You're not a parent. I can't even begin to explain how much I love you and your brother. Even when Richard does things I don't agree with or things deliberately to hurt me, I can't stop loving him. That's what it means to be a parent. I couldn't watch you walk away with Jack to go off to God-knows-where and know that I'd never see you again."

"I thought you wanted me to be happy," Audrey said as the initial shock passed and she started to calm down.

"I do want you to be happy, sweetheart, and you will be happy again, I know that. It'll take some time, just like when you thought that Jack was dead, but it will happen. Besides that, you know Jack, once he made up his mind that this was the right course of action, I'm not sure that I could have changed his mind if I wanted to."

Audrey nodded. What her father was saying was true. Jack tended to be pretty single minded and it usually took heaven and earth to make him change his mind. "I know, Dad," Audrey said with a wry smile. "It's okay. I understand." She stepped away and straightened her father's lapel. "If you don't mind, I'm really tired and I'd just like to go to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

"If that's what you want, sweetheart, that's fine. My suite is just upstairs, so if you need anything, call me. I love you, Audrey. I'll do anything I can to help you through this."

Audrey nodded sullenly and walked him to the door. Once her father was gone, she dully went through the motions of getting ready for bed. She started to get into the bed that she and Jack had shared the night before and found that she couldn't. She looked at the faint stains on the sheets, the only remaining evidence of their love. The memory was strong: Jack's touch, his tender kisses, the weight of his body on top of hers. She suddenly heard his voice asking her if they needed protection and she shut her eyes hard to try and forget her own answer. The thought of becoming pregnant with Jack's child had seemed so romantic at that moment. It seemed so exciting and forbidden. She had told herself that if he didn't come back, that she would have part of him to hold on to, but in truth, she hadn't really allowed herself to think that he might not come back. In her mind, this was just the first of a lifetime of nights that they would spend together. Now she faced the reality that Jack wasn't coming back, that she would never see him again or know where he was and that she might very well be pregnant. And that last thought scared her to death.

Until that moment when having Jack's baby suddenly seemed like a good idea, Audrey had never spent much time thinking about having children. She had always been so career oriented that children were never of any real interest to her. Paul was always too busy wheeling and dealing to think about a family, so it wasn't something they had ever discussed. Jack was a family man and Audrey knew it, but their relationship hadn't gotten to the point that they talked about children. She remembered now that while they were dating, she wondered what would happen if they ever got married. She wondered if Jack would want children and she wasn't sure how she would feel about that. Now, lying alone on the sofa in the dark hotel suite considering the possibility of single-motherhood, Audrey was downright terrified.

The next two weeks were almost unbearable for Audrey. She missed Jack more than ever, (Knowing that he was alive but that she couldn't be with him was worse than thinking that he was dead.) and she wondered almost constantly if she was pregnant. She watched for any telltale sign or symptom that might confirm or deny the presence of a baby growing within her. When her period didn't start the day it was due, Audrey matter-of-factly went to the pharmacy during her lunch break and bought a pregnancy test kit. She returned to her office and told her assistant that she didn't want to be disturbed. Then she slipped into the private bathroom off of her office and methodically followed the instructions on the back of the package. Without even waiting for the result, she knew it would be positive. When the blue plus sign on the white plastic wand appeared, Audrey simply leaned against the sink and cried.

She had never felt more frightened or alone in her life. Even when she and her father were kidnapped, at least they were together. Thoughts of her father made her cringe with embarrassment. How would she ever tell him that she was pregnant? He was so old fashioned. She knew that he didn't approve of her spending the night with Jack, but there was little he could do about it so he didn't bother to lecture her. Now she would have to admit that not only had she and Jack been intimate, but she had been careless enough to allow herself to become pregnant. She didn't know how or when she would tell her father, but she knew that she had to wait until the reality sunk in for her before she could calmly discuss this with him.

The next couple of months passed by rather uneventfully. Audrey had very little morning sickness and if she didn't consciously think about that fact that she was pregnant, she found herself almost able to ignore it. She had seen her doctor and everything was fine, so between visits she intentionally didn't think very much about it. Not that she was unhappy about the pregnancy, on the contrary, it actually elicited little or no emotion in her. She did know that this was going to change her life completely and she had scads of decisions to make, but she was doing her best to avoid making those difficult decisions. She knew that in time she would start showing and she was going to have to face it head on, but for now, the pregnancy was easy to ignore.

Audrey was almost sixteen weeks pregnant when her doctor arranged for a sonogram. It was routine, he told her. He recommended that all of his patients have one to see if the baby was developing normally. Audrey scheduled the appointment and gave the test little thought, except that she was annoyed that the only time they could schedule it was in the middle of a work day. That morning, she casually mentioned to her father that she would be leaving at 2 o'clock for a doctor's appointment. He raised his eyebrows slightly.

"You had a doctor's appointment a couple of months ago, didn't you?" he asked.

"Yeah, I did," Audrey said averting her eyes slightly. Although she had managed to make most of the appointments at times that no one else would notice or question her absence, this was the second time that she was forced to make an appointment that would require that she leave work.

"Sweetheart, is everything alright? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Dad. Don't worry," she said smiling at him and knowing full well that he was already worried.

Despite her attempts to allay his fears, Jim Heller couldn't help worrying about his daughter. She was all he had in the world. His wife was dead and Richard was more or less estranged. Audrey was his joy in life and he feared that something was seriously wrong with her. He would never forget how long his wife had kept her illness from him. She later told him that he was busy and she didn't want to worry him. That was the most painful part of all. The fact that his own wife didn't think that he had time to worry about her still hurt him years later.

"I'll tell you what," Audrey said breaking her father's train of thought, "I'll make dinner tonight. Come over to my house after work and we'll have dinner together." That seemed as good a time as any to break the news to her father. She couldn't hide it much longer so it was time to tell him and make some decisions about her future.

Audrey was a nervous wreck as she drove to the doctor's office. She knew that the pregnancy was progressing and it was no longer reasonable for her to ignore the fact that she was carrying Jack's baby. She wished that Jack were there.

After a short wait in a cramped waiting room with several other women in various stages of pregnancy, she found herself lying uncomfortably on a cold, hard table, with a full bladder and an ultrasound technician pressing on her abdomen and chatting cheerily to her.

"Okay, let me get all set up here and then you can watch if you want to. Do you want to know the baby's sex?" The technician didn't wait for an answer. "Some women want to know and others don't, so I always ask before I let them look at the monitor. We can't always tell, you know. Sometimes the sex is really obvious and other times it's not."

"If you can tell what the sex is, I'd like to know," Audrey told her.

The technician worked silently for a few minutes before speaking again. "Okay, I've got some great pictures. Everything looks good. All of the measurements are perfect." She stopped speaking for a moment and turned the monitor so that Audrey could see it. "I can't be totally sure, but it looks to me like you have a little boy here. He's being a little shy. The little bugger is keeping his legs closed, but that sure looks like a boy to me."

Audrey stared at the monitor in utter amazement and found she couldn't keep from smiling. "I knew it would be a boy," she said confidently as she watched her son move his tiny hands so that one was up near his face as if to play peep-a-boo with her. Thick tears gathered in her eyes. "Are you sure everything is alright, that he's healthy?" she asked as she tried to blink the tears away so that she could see the baby's image clearly. He was suddenly so real and so alive. She couldn't ignore his existence any more. She and Jack had made a miracle and she loved this little person more than she would have thought possible.

"I'll have to show all of my data to the doctor, but everything looks perfectly normal. He's developing just fine. I'll print some pictures for you so you have a souvenir."

Audrey drove home feeling like she was floating on a cloud. Every time that she had to stop for traffic she pulled out the pictures to look at them. "Jack, you have a beautiful son," she said aloud as she studied one of the pictures. "I wish you were here."

That thought swirled over and over in her mind as she drove. _I wish you were here, Jack. I wish you were here._ The more she thought about it, the more the thought haunted her. She wanted Jack to know about his son. She wanted him to be there when James, as she had already named him, was born. She wanted Jack to help her raise him. As she cooked dinner for herself and her father, Audrey could think of nothing else. She missed Jack more than the day he left and she simply couldn't live without him any longer.

Audrey and her father had a quiet dinner on her patio that evening. They kept the conversation light, but both felt a strain, a low grade tension, in the air. Audrey finally broke the ice.

"Dad, about that doctor's appointment I had today," she started.

Jim Heller closed his eyes fearful of what Audrey was about to tell him. He swallowed hard but said nothing waiting for Audrey to continue.

Audrey pulled out the ultrasound pictures and handed them to her father. He looked at them without really understanding. "Is this some kind of x-ray or CAT scan?" he asked.

"It's an ultrasound picture, Dad," she said, "of your grandson."

"My grandson!" he said, the shock evident on his face and in his voice.

Audrey nodded. "Yes, your grandson. I'm 16 weeks pregnant," she said quietly.

Jim's eyes blazed with what Audrey could only describe as a combination of shock and anger. "Who's the father? Do you know?"

"Dad! You know me better than that. I don't sleep around. Of course I know who the father is. He's the only man I've been with in almost a year: Jack Bauer."

"You and Jack were together one night. How the hell did this happen? I would have thought that you two were smart enough to use birth control."

"We didn't exactly have a chance to stop at the drug store," Audrey said sarcastically. "Dad, I'm not unhappy about this, why are you?"

"Audrey, have you thought about what this means to your life? This changes everything."

"Really, Dad. Gee, I hadn't thought of that," she said, once again with a biting edge to her voice. "Of course I've thought of that. I promise that I won't embarrass you like Richard has. I plan to resign from your staff and have the baby quietly."

Jim suddenly realized how he was acting. Audrey was right; his concern at the moment was his own image and how he would be perceived. He already had a gay son who had felt the need to come out of the closet and took up every liberal cause under the sun, now his daughter was about to give birth out of wedlock. He honestly hadn't taken the time to be concerned for her feelings.

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart. I'm just so shocked. None of that came out right." Jim massaged his forehead with his fingertips as if he had a headache. "Why did you wait so long to tell me?"

"Because I knew you were going to react this way and I guess I wanted to put it off as long as possible," Audrey said with a shrug. "I think the other reason I waited was that I didn't completely believe it myself until today. But when I saw the ultrasound images, when I got to see him move, it all became real. You should have seen him, Dad. He's perfect. He has little tiny fingers and toes." She shook her head slowly indicating that she didn't know how to explain her feelings further. "I know that my life has to change and that I have a lot of decisions to make."

"It sounds like you've done that. I wish you would have talked to me, honey. I don't want you to resign. I need you in your current role. Who else can I trust the way I trust you?" Jim said gently.

"My mind is made up, Dad," Audrey told him. She paused for a second and then continued without looking at him. "You aren't going to like the rest of this," she warned him.

"Why? What else are you going to tell me?"

"I want to go and be with Jack."

"That isn't possible, Audrey."

"Yes, it is. I need to get in touch with Bill Buchanan."

"Jack already told Buchanan that he doesn't want you or anyone else giving up their life to be with him," Jim reminded him. "Bill is pretty much bound by Jack's instructions."

"The circumstances have changed. Jack didn't know that he was going to be a father when he wrote that letter. He deserves the chance to raise his son and our baby deserves to grow up with two loving parents. Jack needs to know about the baby and he needs to make the decision as to whether or not he wants us in his life, but he's going to have to tell me to my face that he doesn't want me."

Jim nodded as he paced the room. "You're sure of this, aren't you?"

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I've thought about it off and on since I first knew that I was pregnant, but seeing the ultrasound today made me realize that I don't have a choice. I need Jack in my life and more importantly, James needs a father."

"James?" her father said with a slight smirk.

"Yeah," Audrey said smiling back, "if that's okay with you. I'd like to name him after you."

Jim felt his eyes fill with tears of pride and of sadness. He knew that Audrey was making all of the right choices, but he also knew that, in the process, he was going to lose her. "I love you," Jim whispered as he pulled her into a tight embrace. "But you know what this means, don't you, Audrey?" he said trying to control the tremble in his voice.

"Yes, I do," she replied as she too started crying. "Once I make this move, I'm not sure when or if I'll ever see you again. That's the part that I hate. That's the part I wish I could change. I don't mind giving up anything else, not my job or my friends or my house, but I hate that I have to leave you."

"But you have to think of yourself and the baby, sweetheart," Jim said taking control of his emotions. "I don't want you to try and raise the baby alone when he has a father who loves him and I know how very much Jack will love him. Family has always been important to him and his daughter broke his heart. You're right; you need to go to him."

Audrey called Bill Buchanan the very next day from a secure line at the DoD. Bill was working at his desk when his phone range.

"Yes, Anne," he said to his secretary as he hit the button for the speaker.

"Mr. Buchanan, I have Audrey Raines from the Department of Defense on line two."

"She's on two?" Bill asked wondering why she was calling him on a secure line. Normally DoD personnel would only call CTU on secured lines during an active protocol and no such protocol was currently in effect.

"Yes, sir."

"Thank you. Put her through." Bill waited for a moment for Anne to transfer the call before he spoke. "Audrey? What's going on? Why the need for a secure line?"

"Bill, I need to see Jack."

"Audrey, that's not possible. You know that," Bill said as gently as possible.

"Yes, it is possible, Bill. We both know that," Audrey retorted.

"I have to respect Jack's wishes on this subject, Audrey, and he expressly forbid me from allowing either you or Kim or anyone else access to him. He didn't want you to give everything up for him."

Audrey took a deep breath and put forth the rest of her argument. "I understand that, but when Jack gave you those instructions, he didn't know that he was going to be a father again. Bill, I'm pregnant."

Bill was silent for a long second. "Pregnant? With Jack's child?"

"Yes," Audrey said quietly. Now it was her turn to be silent for a moment before giving Bill the explanation that he deserved. "The baby was conceived the night we spent together after the terrorist attack. I didn't know about it for a few weeks and when I found out, I just planned to have the baby and raise him myself. Then yesterday I had an ultrasound and they confirmed that the baby was a boy and I got to see him moving and kicking. Bill, I don't know how to explain it to someone who doesn't have children, but it was just overwhelming. Jack deserves to know that he's going to be a father and his son deserves a chance to know him. If I have to give up my identity to make all of that happen and for the three of us to be a family, then it's well worth it. If you have any questions with regards to paternity, I'll agree to a paternity test."

"Audrey, I don't know what to say. I've been an administrator in the agency protection program for ten years and nothing like this has ever happened. I'm willing to tell Jack about the baby, but that's about the best I can do. If he wants you to be relocated with him, that will be his decision. If he says 'yes' then we'll proceed. But this has to be his decision."

"I want to be the one to tell him, Bill. I need to tell him face to face."

"I can't arrange that, Audrey. I told you, I'll talk to Jack. I can get in touch with him later today."

"No, Bill. I know Jack. If you tell him over the phone, it won't be completely real to him. He'll tell you that he wants me to stay in Washington. If he sees me and sees the ultrasound images and gets to feel the baby kicking, there is no way he'll send me back to DC. He's going to want his child."

"Audrey, I'm sympathetic, believe me I am. But this is highly irregular to say the least. I want to help you, but I can't agree to this."

"Who would have to approve it?"

"The protection program administrator but he would probably have to get the go ahead from the Director of the CIA, Bert Lance."

"Then let's go that route. Talk to the program administrator. I can have my father call Director Lance. They go way back. I'm sure he can get Lance to agree."

"Audrey, I'm not comfortable with any of this and I'm not sure that getting your father to pull strings is a great idea. This is a huge security undertaking. If you see Jack and he refuses to allow you to relocate with him, we have to find a way to put you back unnoticed into the general population after we already made you disappear. That's no small feat. It's hard enough to make someone disappear. Making you reappear would make parting the Red Sea look like child's play," Bill told her as he paced his office frantically.

"All you have to do is make me disappear, Bill. I can guarantee that Jack will want me to stay when he knows about his son."

"That's pure speculation on your part, Audrey, and you know it. I'd like to think that you're right, but I can't be sure until we see Jack's reaction."

"Just talk to your superiors, please," she begged.

Bill heaved a defeated sigh. Secretary Heller was going to go to the Director of the CIA, so he better put the wheels in motion before Director Lance was on his phone wanting to know all of the details. "Alright, Audrey. I'll call him and see what he says."

Bill reluctantly put in a call to the program administrator, Lou Bailey, and explained the situation. Bailey sighed loudly. "Let me get this straight. The daughter of the Secretary of Defense, who just happens to be an old Army buddy of the Director of the CIA, wants access to one of our protected agents to tell him that he's the father of her child. This is the same agent who has already told us that he wants no one to have access to him. Bill, you've got to be kidding. This is a goddamn nightmare."

"I wish I were kidding, Lou. And I'll tell you right now, neither Audrey Raines nor Secretary Heller is going to take 'no' for an answer. The biggest problem is that I think Bauer is going to be angry that we arranged all of this and tell Audrey that she has to go back to Washington. I know Jack and baby or no baby, his mind is made up. I'll be surprised if he agrees to us relocating her."

"Well, like it or not, I think we're going to have to make this thing happen. You know once James Heller gets on the phone to Director Lance that he's going to want this done yesterday."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Bill said. "I'll get back to you later today with a basic outline of how we want to proceed."

"I wish I could say that I'll be looking forward to hearing from you, Bill, but that would be a lie," Lou said good naturedly.

Bill spent the next few days formulating a plan to put Audrey and Jack together in a manner that could be reasonably reversed if Jack refused to let Audrey stay. Once finalized and approved by his superiors, Bill notified Audrey. He would fly to Washington where they would meet to go over the plan.

Audrey and her father drove to Langley to meet with Bill, Lou Bailey, and Director Lance. Even if she tried, Audrey couldn't explain her emotions as her father guided the car along the highway. She was excited and nervous and happy and sad all at the same time. She found herself shaking as they entered the conference room for the meeting.

Bill wasted no time. He set a sheaf of papers in front of Jim and Audrey and immediately launched into an explanation as to how the plan would work. "This is a complicated process," Bill started. "It allows us to explain you leaving your current situation and either coming back to it without anything changing or staying with Jack and not returning without people asking a lot of questions."

He paused a moment to answer any questions and when none were asked, Bill proceeded. "The first thing that we need everyone to believe, Audrey, is that you are going on a trip to Europe. You'll explain to your friends, neighbors, coworkers, that you have a friend who works as a free lance photographer and is currently living in Spain. He has wanted you to come and visit him for a while. You've been feeling really tired and stressed lately and you have decided that you need a couple of weeks off. All the details regarding where in Spain he's living, and his name are all in the packet in front of you. You need to memorize those and be able to repeat them as if this were a real person. You have to convince people that this story is true. We will have you booked on a flight to Spain and, if anyone is looking into your whereabouts, the flight manifests will be altered to make it look like you were on the flight. Does that make sense?"

Audrey nodded. "This is simple enough, Bill, but what happens when I don't come back?"

"_If you don't come back_," Bill corrected, "then the next part of the story is dependent on you, Mr. Secretary," Bill explained. "When Audrey is due back, you're going to tell everyone that she has decided to stay longer, that she is feeling much better and loves where she's staying and has decided to stay on for a while. My understanding is that many people have expressed concern that Audrey came back to work too soon after Paul's death and, since that time, has been working too hard. So I'm hoping that this explanation will seem reasonable to most people, but you'll have to be convincing, Mr. Secretary. We can't have people asking a lot of questions. Eventually, the story will evolve to include the fact that she and the friend in Europe have become romantically involved and Audrey has decided to stay with him. His job keeps him traveling and she wants to go with him on an assignment to Africa. You'll need to express some level of disapproval at this decision, Mr. Secretary. That will explain why, as time passes, that Audrey doesn't come to visit you and you don't go to visit her.

"There are a number of other details that need to taken care of. Eventually, Audrey, your house will have to be sold. We'll take care of having bank accounts, stocks, trust funds, all of your finances transferred to numbered accounts so you can still access them, but we have people who can take care of those details for you."

Audrey nodded again and listened as Bill continued to go through all of the minute details that had to be covered. It had never occurred to her how much would go in to making her disappear, but despite the complex plan she knew that she wanted to go forward. "Where will I meet Jack?"

"For starters, his name now is Lucas Avery and everyone calls him Luke. You have to call him that as well. That will take some getting used to. He's living in southwestern Colorado. We have three agents in the same area. They run a business together and Luke is their newest partner. Publicly, the business is a high tech computer security business that contracts with the government. In fact, it's a front for the CIA. Your name is Rachel Avery. We decided that the easiest way to handle this is to give you all of the legal documentation to say that you are married. It makes it easier if Jack decides that you can stay with him. The story will be that you separated when Luke decided to take this job in Colorado. Later you found out that you were pregnant and eventually decided to reconcile.

"You'll meet him in a restaurant a few miles from town. Luke eats there pretty often so they know him and he frequently meets 'clients' there. It won't be unusual for him to be meeting someone there. We will tell him that we need him to meet with someone, but we won't tell him that it's you. I'm afraid if we tell him up front, he'll refuse to meet with you. At that point, you tell him the truth. He's far too much of a professional to make a scene in a public place and we need the same behavior from you. Whatever happens, you'll discuss it quietly and calmly and leave the restaurant without attracting any attention regardless of what decision he makes. Do you understand?"

Audrey nodded silently not knowing what else to do.

"All of the information regarding Luke and Rachel is in your packet. You need to know that. You need to know birth dates, anniversary, where they grew up, educational information, parents' names, previous addresses, everything. In short, Audrey, you have to become Rachel Avery and you have to stop being Audrey Heller Raines." Bill stopped for a second. The room was silent and all eyes were on Audrey as the impact of Bill's statement hit home. "Audrey Heller Raines will cease to exist. She'll be gone forever. You will become Rachel Avery, Mrs. Lucas Avery, and there is no turning back if Jack agrees to you staying. I'm going to give you a few days to think this over, Audrey. Get back to me by the end of next week."

"I don't need time to think about it," Audrey said confidently.

Director Lance spoke for the first time. "Yes, you do, Audrey. This isn't a game. It's serious business and it will take dozens of people and countless hours to make it work. We need to make sure that you are 100 percent on board before we move forward. Once you say 'yes', there really is no turning back." Bert Lance sighed quietly. "Audrey, I've known you since you were a baby. Your father and I were stationed at Fort Ritchie when you were born. I've watched you grow up and I've been as proud of you as I have my own children. I need to know that this decision is one that you fully understand and agree to. You're giving up everything for this, Audrey, and I'd never forgive myself if I let you jump into it and it was the wrong decision. Go home. Read the packet carefully before you make any decision and then call Bill next week. In the meantime, it might be a good idea to start floating the idea of vacationing in Europe when you talk to friends and coworkers. That way, if you decide to go through with this, the trip won't be too much of a surprise."

Audrey went home and did as she was told, but even the complexity of the plan didn't scare her off. Her pregnancy was progressing and she was starting to feel the baby move. Her belly was beginning to protrude ever so slightly and she knew that she couldn't hide the pregnancy from others for more than a few more weeks. She called Bill and told him that she wanted to go forward with the plan.

Audrey excitedly told everyone she knew about her "trip to Europe" while her father expressed his displeasure at her choosing to go on vacation when there was so much work to be done and his general dislike for the man Audrey was claiming to be going to see. It worked like a charm and no one questioned the story.

Soon Audrey found herself saying a tearful goodbye to her father and on her way to meet Jack. The trip would be circuitous taking her through a couple of military bases and finally to Santa Fe, New Mexico where she would be given a car to drive the remainder of the way.

Bill called Jack the day before Audrey was to arrive and told him that he needed to meet a contact. As he gave Jack the date and time, he felt guilty dropping this on Jack without warning. He wondered how Jack was going to take it. One thing he knew for sure, if Jack was angry, he was going to hear about it.

Jack walked casually into the restaurant the next afternoon at 2 o'clock as instructed. There were very few diners lingering over late lunches by then and most of the tables were empty.

"Hi, Mr. Avery," said Charlie, the young man who was doubling as bartender and receptionist during the post-lunch, pre-dinner hours. Once the dinner crowd started rolling in he would strictly be behind the bar.

"Hey, Charlie," Jack returned. "I'm meeting a client. Has she arrived?"

Charlie smiled and raised his eyebrows. Most of the people Jack met in the restaurant were middle aged business men. It was unusual for him to be meeting a woman. "Yeah, she's at the last booth in the back. Better looking than most of your clients," he commented.

Jack just smiled back and strode toward the booth. The woman had her back to him, something that Jack found unusual. Most CIA agents would face the restaurant in order to get a view of anyone coming in. That was a rookie mistake and Jack would let her know about it when he got the chance.

Audrey's heart was going a mile a minute as she heard the footsteps coming up behind her. She waited until Jack had reached the booth before she turned to look at him. "Hi, Luke," she said softly. She extended her hand so that if anyone was watching, it looked like a business meeting.

Jack was stunned but quickly recovered. He couldn't afford to look too surprised. They shook hands and Jack took the seat across from her in the secluded booth. "I take it you found the place without any problems," he said casually as a waiter approached.

The waiter took drink orders and handed them menus. "Did you need some time, Mr. Avery, or are you ready to order."

"Give us a few minutes, please Harry," Jack said. He waited for Harry to move out of earshot before leaning slightly across the table. "What are you doing here? What's going on? I told Bill that I didn't want you here. Didn't my letter make that clear?" Jack said quietly.

"Gee, Luke, it's good to see you, too. I thought maybe you missed me as much as I missed you."

"Stop it! Of course I've missed you. God! I can't get you out of my mind, but this is too complicated. You can't stay here."

They saw Harry approaching with their drinks and both turned their attention back to the menus. He placed iced teas before both of them and took their lunch orders. Jack spread some papers from his briefcase on the table to make their meeting look official.

"We eat lunch and then you leave quietly. Do you understand?" Jack directed her.

"Not until you hear me out," Audrey told him. She reached into her bag and pulled out the ultrasound images that were now almost six weeks old.

Jack looked at them and shook his head. "This looks like a baby," he said not fully understanding.

Audrey smiled. "It's our son," she said barely able to contain herself.

All of Jack's training had not prepared him for that moment. He couldn't help but look surprised and he was grateful that no one was nearby. "Our son? Are you sure?"

"There was no one but you six months ago. I've already told Bill, if paternity is a question, I'll submit to a test, but the baby belongs to you."

Jack closed his eyes for a second trying to take in all of the new information. "I asked you that night if we needed protection and you said 'no'. Honey, I never would have put you through this if you had told me. I didn't want for this to happen. I'm sorry."

"How can you be sorry about it? We made a baby. I think it's wonderful. I'm thrilled and I'm here now. We can be a family. We'll have our son and we'll raise him together. I don't want to raise him alone. I want him to know his father. I want him to know how much you love him."

Before Jack could begin to protest, Harry brought their lunches. "Let's see," he said. "That's a southwest chicken salad for you, ma'am and a chipotle burger for you, Mr. Avery. Can I get you anything else right now?"

"Everything's fine. Thanks, Harry," Jack said finding himself at a loss for words.

Jack sat unable to eat while he watched Audrey's fork plunge into the salad. She had always been a dainty eater, but she attacked the salad with a vengeance.

"God, I'm hungry," she said after chewing the first bite. "I'm always hungry now," she told him. "I didn't notice it for the first few months, but now that the baby's growing so much, I feel like I can't get enough to eat. The doctor said based on his size right now, he might be over nine pounds when he's born. Are you going to eat all of those fries? Can I have a couple?" Without waiting for an answer, Audrey reached her fork across the table and stabbed two French fries. She dipped them in the puddle of ketchup that Jack had poured onto his plate and then ate them. "Mmmm," she hummed, eyes closed, as if in ecstasy. "Those are cooked in peanut oil. They're wonderful. How's the dessert here? I could really go for something chocolate."

Jack couldn't help but smile. He didn't remember ever seeing Audrey so animated. If it was possible that pregnancy made a woman glow, she was glowing. Jack felt his initial shock and anger at having Audrey show up here begin to fade and it was replaced by the warm, loving feeling he always had when she was near. Now it was different, though. Now she was carrying their child and he already knew that he loved the baby.

"This won't be easy, Sweetheart," he said quietly. "Once you move here, that's it. There's no going back. It's just the two of us."

"No, it's the three of us. And I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to make my home and my life here with you and the baby. I can't stand living the way I was. I couldn't be happy about the baby knowing that you couldn't be part of his life. I couldn't be happy about anything. I was just existing. I didn't really care if I lived or died. You were all I could think about."

"I felt the same way," Jack admitted as he finally started to relax and eat his lunch. "People are going to ask questions, how do I introduce you? What's the cover story?" he asked between bites.

"I'm your wife, Rachel. I have wedding rings for both of us in my purse."

"The only problem with that is everyone thinks I'm single."

"We were separated. I didn't want to move here when you took the job, but now with the baby coming soon, I decided that I wanted to reconcile."

Jack agreed that it was a plausible cover story and he started to find himself more and more comfortable with the situation. He also knew that he was happier than he had been since the day he spent at the Hilton with Audrey. He couldn't believe that she was really here with him and that soon they would have a family.

Jack and Audrey finished lunch and left the restaurant. They each got into their own car and drove the half hour to Jack's house. Jack didn't think he could remember that drive ever taking so long. All he could think about was Audrey and how much he wanted to be alone with her. They had to act like business associates in the restaurant, so he couldn't even hold her hand as they walked to the door and he couldn't kiss her as he helped her into the car. It took enormous self control not to put his hand on her belly that curved so softly in front of her. She told him more than once during the meal that the baby was kicking and he desperately wanted to feel it.

They arrived at the house and parked their cars. Jack went immediately to Audrey's door to help her out and then retrieved her luggage from the trunk. They were walking toward the house when a neighbor who was working in her flower garden called out to Jack.

"Hi Luke," she said.

"Hello, Mrs. Kiley," Jack returned. He leaned toward Audrey and whispered into her ear. "Beware of nosy neighbors."

Audrey smiled as the woman stood up from her chore and walked toward the picket fence dividing the properties.

"Nice day, isn't it? I didn't realize that you were having company," Mrs. Kiley commented.

"I'm not exactly 'company'," Audrey interjected. "I'm Rachel Avery, Luke's wife."

Audrey extended her hand to the woman who couldn't have looked more surprised. For weeks she had been trying to figure out how to nonchalantly introduce her very single 35 year old daughter to her handsome neighbor. He looked like good husband materiel to Mrs. Kiley. He was quiet, didn't drink or party that she could tell. He took good care of his house and seemed to have a good job. What more could a girl want? Her Marilyn was awfully fussy, but Luke seemed like a good catch.

"Why Luke, I had no idea that you were getting married," she said taking stock of Audrey's obvious "condition" and nearly clucking in disapproval at the immorality of young people today.

"We were separated," Jack explained.

"I'm afraid that was my fault," Audrey added. "When Luke moved here I didn't want to move. It took me a few months but I've come to my senses," she said as she and Jack smiled at each other.

"It looks like the stork will be paying you a visit soon."

"In a couple of months," Audrey agreed as she rubbed her stomach. She already knew that she was going to love sparring with Mrs. Kiley. She suspected that the woman had an opinion on everything and didn't mind sharing with anyone who would listen.

"Well, I'll just go back to my gardening and leave you two love birds alone," the older woman said. "Before you go inside, Luke, I was hoping you could carry something into the garage for me."

Jack internally rolled his eyes. "Of course, Mrs. Kiley." He set Audrey's bags on the ground and handed the house keys to her. "I'll be right in." Audrey took the keys noting the look of aggravation on Jack's face and made her way to the front door while Jack opened the gate and crossed into Mrs. Kiley's yard.

Jack followed his neighbor toward the garage. "What was it that you needed me to carry?"

Mrs. Kiley watched Audrey and waited until she was on the front porch and out of earshot before she spoke. "I know that it's none of my business, Luke, and you know that I don't involve myself in other peoples affairs," she started, "and I don't usually give advice unless I've been asked, but I just thought I should give you some friendly advice. Rachel _seems _like a lovely person but it might be in your best interest, Luke to have a paternity test. You know, just to protect your own interests."

"Thanks. I'll keep that in mind," Jack returned in a noncommittal manner. "If you don't mind, my wife is waiting for me."

Jack walked away shaking his head. He carried Audrey's bags into the house. "Sweetheart," he called as he entered the door.

"I'm back here," she called from the patio in the rear of the house.

Jack set down the luggage and followed her voice.

"The place is great! I love it," Audrey told Jack. "We can turn the spare bedroom into a nursery. It'll be perfect."

"Like you," Jack said as he grabbed Audrey's hand and pulled her into his arms. "I love you so much," he whispered as he kissed her. "And I am so happy that you're here." He kissed her again. "And I am even happier about this little guy," Jack said as he pressed his hands against her stomach.

"Can you feel him? He kicking a little bit," Audrey said as she moved Jack's hand toward the movement.

Jack's face lit up and he started to laugh as he felt the barrage of kicks. "Is he running a marathon in there?"

"He's like you; he never stops," Audrey told Jack as she leaned in for another round of kisses.

Jack and Audrey, or rather Luke and Rachel as everyone knew them, settled down happily into domestic life. Time passed quickly and before they knew it, Audrey was in labor and they were in the delivery suite at the local hospital.

"Okay, Rachel," the doctor encouraged, "one or two more pushes and we'll have this little guy out."

"I hope so," Audrey said not quite believing that labor would ever end. "I'm not sure I can do this much longer."

"You're doing fine, Sweetheart," Jack assured her as she started pushing again.

"That's it, that's it," the doctor said. "Here he comes!"

Right on cue, the baby started crying frantically. Jack pulled Audrey into his arms and they both cried at the sound.

"Well that's a surprise," the doctor said. That statement made everyone look up with concern. "I think we need to take another look at those ultrasound pictures. I only looked at them briefly, but I thought the baby was a boy."

"It's not?" Audrey asked.

"No, but you have a beautiful little girl here, Rachel."

"And she's healthy? Everything's okay?" Jack asked anxiously.

"She's fine. She's absolutely perfect. Give the nurses a second to clean her up and you can hold her," the doctor reassured him.

Jack and Audrey breathed a sigh of relief and both started laughing. Neither knew why they were laughing. It was more of a release. The hours of concern and tension during labor were over, the baby and Audrey were both fine and it was a girl instead of the much anticipated boy.

A few minutes later, the nurses put the baby, wrapped in a pink blanket with a pink cap on her head, into Audrey's arms. They both studied her carefully taking note of her tiny pink mouth and her blue eyes. They memorized the shape of her face and the way her nose turned up just slightly.

"She's beautiful, Sweetheart. Thank you," Jack whispered as he pressed a tender kiss against her temple.

The flurry of activity that had surrounded them all day was finally over. Jack had taken a few minutes to slip out to his car and make a call from a secure phone to Bill Buchanan. He asked Buchanan to get in touch with Audrey's father and let him know that he had a beautiful granddaughter and that Audrey was fine. Bill congratulated Jack and told him that he would get in touch with the Secretary of Defense as soon as possible. Bill had been great about relaying messages between Audrey and her father and had indicated that he thought it would be possible to arrange a visit with Jim Heller within the next couple of months. Before hanging up, Jack contemplated asking Bill to talk to Kim as well, but decided against it. He felt it was better to leave well enough alone. According to Bill, when he told Kim that Jack was going into an agency protection program she had wished her father well, but seemed almost grateful that they would have no further contact. As painful as that was for him, he decided that it was best to live with that.

Jack returned to Audrey's room where she sat in bed staring lovingly at their daughter. She smiled when he entered the room and scooted over so that he could sit next to her on the bed. Jack kissed Audrey and then lifted the baby up so that he could kiss her forehead.

"Daddy missed his girls," he cooed softly.

Audrey snuggled against him and watched him holding the baby. "You aren't disappointed are you?" Audrey asked cryptically.

"Disappointed? About what?" Jack asked.

"That we had a girl instead of a boy."

"Are you kidding me? We have this beautiful, healthy daughter and you think that I could be disappointed? Of all the emotions that I've felt today, disappointment was certainly not one of them. Are you disappointed?"

"Not at all. I was just so sure that we were having a boy that I never even considered having a girl," Audrey explained. "We don't even have a name for her."

"We'll come up with something," Jack said. Audrey noticed that he seemed to be looking wistfully off into the distance.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I was just thinking," he explained.

"About what?"

"When Kim was about four, she wanted a baby sister. It was all she talked about. She even named the baby Melissa. She made us promise that if we had another baby girl that we would name her Melissa. The problem was that our marriage was always so tenuous that it never seemed like a good idea to have another baby. When I talked to Teri about an hour before she died and she told me that she was pregnant, all I could think of was that if it was a girl we would have to name her Melissa."

"So now that Kim has a baby sister, do you want to name her Melissa?"

"I'd like to but only if it's alright with you."

"It's beautiful," Audrey agreed. "What do you think about that?" Audrey cooed to the baby. "How do you like being named Melissa?"

The baby stretched and yawned in response.

"Did you see that?" Audrey exclaimed.

"She yawned," Jack said not sure why Audrey was so excited.

"No, when she did that she looked just like you!"

"Oh, I hope not!" Jack said back with a laugh. "I want her to be beautiful like you."

"You're so sweet," Audrey said as she leaned in and kissed Jack. "Maybe in a year or two we can try again for a boy and hopefully he'll look like you."

xxxXXXxxx

"Okay, Rachel," the doctor said. "You know the drill. Keep pushing and we'll have this baby out in no time."

"You said that twenty minutes ago and I'm still pushing," she retorted exhausted from almost fifteen hours of labor.

"You're the one who wanted to try this again," Jack reminded her.

"So, Rachel, if it's a girl, are you trying again for a boy?" the doctor asked.

"I'll answer that," Jack replied. "No! If this one's a girl then we'll assume that I don't make male sperm and give it up as a lost cause!"

"That's too bad, because you two are among my best customers. I'll hate giving up the extra income," the doctor laughed. "I figured if you had one more, my wife and I could afford that trip to New Zealand that she's been wanting to take."

"That's right, you two just joke at my expense," Audrey whined before having to push again. "He's coming! I can feel him!" Audrey gasped.

"That's it! Another push," the doctor guided her. "There you go!"

Jack and Audrey looked up expectantly as the baby started to cry.

"Congratulations, you two. It's another girl!"

Jack and Audrey looked at each other and started laughing just as they had when their first daughter was born seven years earlier. Since then Melissa Rose had been joined by Elizabeth Anne who was now five and Rebecca Grace who was almost three. Kathryn Taylor was the name of this newest addition.

"She's beautiful, Sweetheart. Thank you," Jack said as he had after the births of each of their daughters.

Audrey beamed. She hadn't imagined when she came to this place to be with this man that her life would have turned out this way. As Audrey Heller Raines left the hustle and bustle of Washington DC seven years earlier, she wondered if she would miss her career and the city and her place among the powerful elite. She soon learned that none of that was important. She knew from the moment that Melissa first suckled from her breast with Jack looking on so lovingly that the power and excitement of Washington was nothing compared to this. Audrey Raines, Senior Policy Advisor to the Secretary of Defense, truly no longer existed. She was, in body, mind and spirit, Rachel Avery, full time mother and wife and part time librarian at the local elementary school. Sometimes when she thought back on her life as Audrey Raines, it made her sad. She had wasted so much time worrying about what to wear for a meeting or who she would be able to impress at a cocktail party. It was all so superfluous. It meant nothing in the scheme of things. Now, with her fourth daughter in her arms and Jack still by her side, she thanked God that she had taken the risk and left everything behind. For in that world she had never known happiness as intense or satisfying or a love as deep and warm as that which surrounded her now.

_Thanks for reading; I really appreciate your sticking with me. This story took me a lot longer to write than I imagined when I first started outlining it. Thanks, too, for putting up with my unconventional three part ending. I had a lot of fun writing it and hoped you enjoyed reading._


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